Posted by: Jayshree | 2009/07/13

post operative mood behaviour

Hi. My mum went for a major op about 4 years ago. she had a tumor in her pancreas removed and she was in ICU and her hospital stay was for 2 months.
After her recovery, she completely changed. she is very moody and anything just upsets her. She likes to be alone - pushes all the people that love her away by being nasty and mean. She does not want to accept that she has a problem and says that everyone else is at fault. She is completely paranoid and does not have a kind word for anyone. If she has to say anything to anyone, its done in a very harsh way.
If she is upset with someone(which is all the time) she can go for hours talking to herself ranting and raving. She sits all by herself till late at night watching tv. She wants control of everyone. We all have to do as she says. Please help cos my dad and i have been contemplating moving out or suicide.

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Our expert says:
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With most tumours of the pancreas, she is lucky to be alive 4 years later. Maybe she has been handling very nadly this encopunter with serious illness. Is she still seeing any doctor in conection with her earlier illness ? It's important to clarify what the diagnosis was and whether she is now healthy from that point of view, or whether there could be some continuing medical problems related to that, which themselves could also cause psychological problems. She probably needs a fresh re-assessment of her state of health, physical and mental. Can't you and your dad calmly sit with her, saying that you will not pay attention to her ranting, but insist that she recognize how horribly she is behaving towards everyone else, and that she needs assessment and help. What would happen to her if the pair of you, very reasonably, chose to move out and leave her on her own ? Does she recognize that you have that option ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jayshree | 2009/07/13

We have tried talking to her. i have moved out previosly but always came back cos she ask me to feel sorry for my dad. She refuses to acknowledge that she needs help saying there is nothing wrong with her. all her family even keep away from her. Told her numerous times that i will move out, she says i must go ahead if it makes me happy. I dont wanna do this cos I dont wanna leave my parents alone.

Reply to Jayshree
Posted by: lady man | 2009/07/13

Make a video when she is behaving like you said for let say three days and make her watch what she is doing to the family. Put your dad and your frustrations also on the video so she can see for herself.

Reply to lady man

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