Our expert says:
I wonder whether his main source of guilt is having left his child, or is it about feeling happy when he may not feel he deserves to feel happy ? He must be careful ( and some sessions with a counsellor might help him to sort this out ) that his guilt, whether appropriate or inappropriate, does lead him to go back in the hope of making his guilt feel better, in the name of doing it for the sake o the child, but not necessarily in the best interests of the child.
One wonders whether the ex-wife may be skilled at fanning these feelings of guilt, and wants him back for himself, rather than truly for the child's benefit. She may be limiting his access to the child ( which could be an action of hers that is against the true interests of the child ) so as to pressure the father into needing to come back to her, to have proper access. A court might be able to require her to provide proper access, as the central issue must be the genuine best interests of the child rather than the personal individual preferences of the parents.
Maybe there is indeed much they could gain by getting back together and truly working on the relationship ; maybe not. It ought to be explored rather than just assumed.
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