Posted by: Step-mom for this one | 2013/02/15

Possessed 3 year old

Hi forumies

I dont know how to put this without sounding rude or evil. Please dont judge me.
I''m a divorced mom of two. Currently staying with my fiance and his 3 year old from a failed relationship. My twins stays with my parents as I am an only child. My kids are disciplined as my parents believe in discipline. The problem is the 3 year old boy who is so evil and spoilt.

The dad spoils him rotten to a point the kid is a brat. When my twins are around they stare in shock as he starts with his tempertrums. To them is like they are unfairly treated as they cannot behave in that manner while this one does as he pleases.

The dad when he reprimands the brat says " mama is going to spank when you do 123" . This man is painting an ugly picture about me when he acts holy. I dont need this kid to like me all I want is a child that will not embarass me in public. Now what puzzles me most is that the mom who decided to leave this kid called the other day informing her ex that he was in car accident. I asked him what is she expecting you to do and he said she wanted sympathy.

This whole situation is so emotionally taxing as I can''t stand the brat and the dad is busy entertaining the ex.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mom | 2013/02/18

That is the problem with stepmoms, they come to your space and they want you to fit their own expectations. I was raised by a step mom and 1 thing I hated was the fact that she wanted us to be the way she wanted us to be. Hell no these are not your kids take a back sit and allow the father to parent, arent your kids happy with granny?

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Pretty Pear | 2013/02/15

Step-mom you seem to be throwing the towel...maybe it''s not meant to be...
I may not be in your shoes to feel your pinch, but i still think this is just lazy to work on it...asoze wohlulwe yi 3 yr old...angekhe!! kulapho agobeka khona umntwana...
unless there are underlying issues ke...nevertheless all the best

Reply to Pretty Pear
Posted by: Theo | 2013/02/15

Did I loose the new or revised meaning of fiance? I might be dump or something.

Reply to Theo
Posted by: Step mom | 2013/02/15

Thank you so much for your input. If I remember well I asked not to be judged but anyway I was not expecting that it won''t happen.

@Namthi and T, thank you so much for talking to the issue at hand. Honestly I think I have no interest in marrying this person and his child anymore. I guess there is so many complications that I do not want to inherit.

@Theo, your thinking of him keeping the ex closer might be correct. Maybe is time for them to reconcile and be a happy family again. Talking about my kids having two parents benefit, it can never hurt me because since the twins were born there was no father figure as the divorce happened before they came to this planet. The benefit of both parents they always had it from my parents as my job requires me to travel 90% of the time.

At the end of it all I have nothing to lose, my soul mate might be out there while I''m wasting my time trying to make something that is not meant for me mine.

Thank you guys, have a super weekend.

Reply to Step mom
Posted by: Namthi | 2013/02/15

Well said T I conqoure with you fully, step -mom i think your fiance is also at wrong to use you when reprimanding his son he must stop it , a spoilt brat its a nerve ask me I know especialy if he is 3 years and depending how your fiance sees you when you try to dscipline him ,your " childish"  fiance will continue to use you so that the child see you as a cruel person and believe me if he continues you will never get along with that child. I think the first step is to have a good communication relationship with your fiance then all will follow. in your child/ children''s presence you must appear as united and as one.

Reply to Namthi
Posted by: T | 2013/02/15

Woman, you cannot call a child evil, period. If he''s a brat, then somebody turned him into a brat by FAILING to exercise discipline and I lay the blame at your husband''s door. Maybe I''m naive, but I thought husbands and wives share responsibilities, including parenting and that they communicate - and that''s what you and your husband should be doing instead of setting up this child for failure in life. An undisciplined brat turns into a disease to society, and you both can do something about it now, so do it and leave the supernatural out of it.

Reply to T
Posted by: Bella | 2013/02/15

Well said Theo... i like your comment

3 three year old can be not evil coming from a MOTHER is not right, you''re using harsh words to describe the child and the tone of your voice i can tell you dont want him in the same roof as you,

hay chaa sisi this whole thing nje is not with yourself first....i hope your fiance dont find out because should he find out ukuthi uthetha oluhlobo i dont think he will appreciate it sisi...

Sorry i cant help...good luck

Reply to Bella
Posted by: Theo | 2013/02/15

Step-mom for this one, your tone here sets and paint a very ugly situation. I am amazed that you are saying that " I''''m a divorced mom of two. Currently staying with my fiance and his 3 year old from a failed relationship"  The fact that you are divirced means that your relationship failed, so both of you are coming from failed relationship. Please get that first and then address the problem at hand witout painting an ugly picture of your fiance, implying that you are coming from a " not failed"  relationship.

We all want to see the bes in our children and the fiance is seeng the best from his child. Nothing wrong with that. Seems like you are somehow bitter that your " well mannered and discipline"  kids are not getting the benefits of being with 2 parents, you and your fiance. Get over it. The kid might be spiled, yes but evil, that is really harsh and hope that your fiance does not know that you call his son evil. Maybe he knows hence trying by all means to hurt you. If you want to have a relationship, you have to do all so that your fiance can see that you are doing your best. To say that you dont need this kid to like me all I? A step-mother saying this to her step-child? Nah, something wrong with you. No wonder your fiance is entertaining the ex because she seems to be so much better than you and he is realising that now hence keeping her closer.

Reply to Theo

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