Our expert says:
I fully understand how disturbing this whole episode has been to you. Do focus for yourself on the point that there is NO good evidence that simple exposure to porno is harmful to kids --- what can be harmful is the messages that may go along with it --- like the other boy's possible message that this was a sneaky and dirty thing ; and the most likely source of harm, fortunately not large, would be the terrible embarassment and upset at the scene in the principal's office. I think the principal handled this event badly, in a way that would maximise the upset to the essentially innocent kids, and he showed very little useful understanding of sex or of children.
It's the reactions of you and your husband that he will be dreading, and which could be harmful or helpful. Remain calm and loving towards him, supportive of his upset at the embarrassment of the situation. Use the opportunity to discuss with him your own calm attitudes about sex, a something which belongs within an ongoing loving relationship, and that you regret that this other boy has possibly gvien him a slanted view of this . Most of all, be open, now and from here on, to his questions about any aspect of this, something which his earlier questions showed was possible within the good relationship you have with him.
As Chelle says, the important thing is to HEAR him, not to preach to him. She also usefully raises the importance of discussing the broader and more important issue of how to deal with peer pressure, which might arise in other ways on other occasions.
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