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Question
Posted by: N | 2007/03/01

Pornography?

I've been married for almost 4 years to a realy good man, whom i love dearly. We have always had a really good sex life together, but now have a baby of 9 months old, which has made our sex life a little harder. I have always known that my husband likes pornography, i am not that happy about it but i'd rather that than him have an affair. But recently I've found porn sites and sex talk no. on his phone, i have spoken to him about this and he reassures me that he loves me and would never do anything other than look at porn. I am worried as i don't know where 2 draw the line, will this lead him to have an affair? I don't know if he has a problem and just won't admitt it. Help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As you have experienced, men are more likely to dissociate porn ( and sex ) from love ; as I've said before for many men it's like a woman who collects recipe books, but doesn't actually cook. It isn't likely to lead him to have an affair --- SA men had loads of afairs when porn was banned and unavailable. A man who is into having affairs may well also be interested in porn, but the one doesn't cause the other. Maybe a few sessions of marriage counselling would help him to understand your point of view, and to moderate his conduct because it upsets you

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Our users say:
Posted by: RMC | 2007/03/01

And why is he looking at porn? Do you think he will look at a woman and say "oh, she is pretty" or "nice hairstyle"?

He as looking at it for sexual satisfaction and it is infedility to you. The biggest sex organ is not between the legs, it is between the ears -- the mind!

Just the fact that you are not happy about it should mean enough to him.

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