Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi again Marlboro and thanks for this post.
Anal sex shouldn't be painful - pain indicates that there's a problem somewhere, most probably that your bf isn't relaxing. Try laying off the sex for a few weeks - can he appreciate being rimmed? touched there? being teased there? Go gently and slowly. Let him be one step ahead of you - wait till he's really wanting it before you give him what he's needing. And then go ultra slow. Back off slightly if he experiences discomfort. Reassure him with your words. Try anal massage - stimulate his anal area and find his prostate with the tip of your finger. Teach him to enjoy this area of his body. Take your time.
Poppers is safe to use but ensure the liquid doesn't spill into his nose, eyes or mouth. It is also highly flammable. Do poppers slowly - it can cause a headache and many guys lose their erections.
Most importantly, don't ever rush anal sex. Literally ease into it. Back off if discomfort lasts more than a minute.
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