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Question
Posted by: light | 2004/12/13

pls help/give me advice me not to still hate my x who cheated on me, he got engaged while we still were boyfriend&girlfriend,actually still sleeping with me while already engaged to her

and they got married quickly after leaving me - i dont want to hate anymore&hate him for using me & throwing me away

how can i stop hating him and her? he's got it easy now, good work, money, while i stayed with him he had nothing. it is unfair that he used me and just threw me away like that, getting away with it all.

i cant move on, cant forget, please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Take heart from Mindful's excellent message. See a counsellor if necessary, to deal with the hate issues, and congratulate yourself for your good luck in avoiding a deeper involvment with this rat.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: light | 2004/12/13

i told her, when he FINALLY told me after a week of telling me he didnt want to ever get married, wants to go away.looked me in the face and said they do not have a relationship, he was already engaged to her then. i then phoned her to find out what the truth was cos he told so many lies, said he only said it was her to make it familiar, how sick is that. i then phoned her to find out if its true, she said it was, i told her we slept together while they were already engaged, i did not know then about the engagmenet yet, she didnt believe me. i have been getting help, but i cant get over it.
thanks for being there for me. i just hate the fact that i gave my virgnity to him and then he cheated.

Reply to light
Posted by: Mindful | 2004/12/13

Light,

Is she aware that he had a sexual relationship with you? You know, he's already gone into the marriage lying, and that is a very unsolid foundation. It can't be easy seeing them either. Just hang in there, and perhaps get some professional help to help you deal with this, as CS suggests.

Reply to Mindful
Posted by: light | 2004/12/13

cybershrink,

do you think he will do it to her too or was i just the sucker that he used?

mindful

thanks for your response, it also happened to me last year, but i think it is difficult cos they stay in my area and work in my area. and they acted as if they did nothing wrong, he didnt think he did anything wrong. i feel used and hate him so much i cant explain it.

Reply to light
Posted by: Mindful | 2004/12/13

Dear Light,

I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but things do get better. Something very similar happened to me last year, and it broke me! I wasn't sleeping with the guy, but he was the one person I believed would never hurt me! It was really hard - I cried so much, that my boss actually sent me home (VERY unprofessional of me!). It's over a year now for me, and I am living proof that the hurt and the hatred and all the emotions involved with the experience - they eventually dissolve away. I do wish you lots of luck though, because not everyone's hurt is the same. And if you want to chat, I'm always around here!

Reply to Mindful

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