Our expert says:
You're still a good guy, but apparently one who has drawn unfairly negative and gloomy conclusions from some of your experiences in life.
'd recommend that you get seriously involved in CBT-style counselling / therapy to work on testing and usefully revising these assumptions. OK, you had a very sad and challenging set of experiences with a business that succeeded then failed (at a time when many good businesses failed) and a relationship that failed ( apparently the woman was more mercenary than you suspected ).
But it's not fair to conclude that you are a failrue. You just haven't succeeded on a long-term basis YET.
You do need to forgive yourself for having made some bad decisions. The only guy who never makes any bad decisions is the guy who never makes decisions - and that's the worst decision of all. The essence of a great man is NOT that he makes no midtakes but that he learns from them and at least makes NEW mistakes from then on.
It sounds as though you have become depressed, understandably, and Depression is brilliant at making one concentrate on the negative trather than the current and potential positive aspects of life. YOu are describing a typical and unpleasant situation of a good guy with depression. It responds well to medication and CBT-counselling, so you need to get properly assessed, if possible by a shrink, and start treatment to relieve this and get back to the many things you are and will be good at.
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