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Question
Posted by: odette | 2007/04/12

pls explain my abnormal behaviour

Its something I have done for about 15 years but I find myself doing it more often these days. As I lie in bed or in the bath or wherever, I 'redesign' my body. I have my top ten list in fact the other day i did a list of '30 things I would change about my body'. I get very excited when I do this sometimes cos I can see the new me if I use my imagination vividly enough.Sometimes I find myself arguing with myself about what should get changed first over another body part. for example sometimes 'breasts' and 'nose' both compete for 3rd place on my list of Ten Things I would Change. I see myself standing in front of a mirror and just saying the words e.g Nose Smaller and it just happens. Until i am redesigned. My own extreme makeover and I do it myself just by speaking. It is the most excitng thing i can think of.

After I go thru this exercise I then imagine the kind of life I would lead if I looked like this redesigned person, the clothes i could wear the friends I would have, the men I could have dated in fact i could be married by now. I imagine the jobs I could have got simply because I had both the looks and the brain.
i am not ugly. But i dont look anything as nice as this other person.

I want to stop this exercise. I am in my mid 30s now and i began maybe at the age of 15. I feel cannot accept myself as myself when I consider my many physical flaws. it would appear everyone has less than me or their flaws are less obvious, or they simply have the self-esteem I lack.

I have done this exercise every day for almost two weeks now. it is the most frequent i have ever done it since the age of 15. what is going on with me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, you seem to be indulging in a fantasy / reverie which you find comforting and pleasant. WHat I'd feel uneasy about is that in an almost literal sense it is about re-inforcing a rejection of so many aspects of yourself. What would be more useful, surely, would be almost the reverse --- an exercise of listing 30 things that you LIKE about yourself and your body, emphasizing and extending the degree of self-regard. CBT therapy / counselling would be the best way of achieving this. You sound as though you have low self-esteem, and a form of body-dysphoria in which you have become unhappy about and dissatisfied with, a perfectly normal and pleasant body.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kerry | 2007/04/13

Don't obsess about your body. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. It's normal to go through bouts of bad body image but don't think about it everyday. It's the person inside that counts and not your 'earth suit.'

Reply to Kerry
Posted by: Pineapple | 2007/04/13

Hi,

You are at least making yourself happy but at the same time it is not health for you to do this to yourself because you are trying to be somebody else. I think you should try and accept who you are and the way you are. I am sure you are a stunning looking woman and you definitely have the brains so believe in yourself and as for a man he will come around when you least expect it.

I on the other hand again cut myself when i get cross or am upset about something. I self mutilate myself. I get satisfaction out of it it feels like all the pain, anger and all that is leaving my body. It really looks bad but it helps me vent my anger. Nobody knows but i wonder if it is normal or not??????

Reply to Pineapple

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