Posted by: gal | 2005/12/14

pls, advise

i am a 21yr old virgin but i have noticed that for some time now, i have been attracted to the opposite sex(gals) while i still love my boyfriend.
do you think i am just curious or i am a bisexual at heart.thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi gal and thanks for posting on our forum.

Your post is confusing but I'm assuming you meant "same sex" as opposed to "opposite sex" - right?

Bisexuality implies being sexually and romantically attracted to both boys and girls, and if you're experiencing being attracted to girls it is likely that you're bisexual. If you only find girls (as opposed to boys) attractive, it is possible that you may be lesbian. Don't worry about it - as you may have read many times on our forum, we're all located somewhere on the continuum between being totally straight and totally gay.

Being bicurious implies that you're somehow fascinated by, or tempted by, the thought of being sexually intimate with someone of the same sex. There doesn't need to be a romantic attraction. Personally I don't think it matters whether you're curious or bisexual, and there's no arbitrary point at which you suddenly become 'bisexual'. Many straight people have experimented with gay sex at some point and they're still decidedly straight.

I have no doubt that your love for your boyfriend is very real - but are there sexual sparks? There are various forms of love, all of which are OK - you may be in love with him but you may not be in lust with him. That's fine too.

Only you will know, with time, whether you're straight, bi or gay.

Your being a virgin has no bearing on your sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is about who you WANT to have sex with, not about whom you do or don't have sex with.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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