Posted by: C | 2008/11/03

PLease tell me if im WRONG!!!!!

Good Day.

I had a real terrible w/end all becos hubby broke his promise to us ( me &  the kids ) again.
He goes out EVERY Friday nite after work for drinks , and the coming home time is getting later and later , probably becos it’ s getting to summer now and the evenings are not so cold.
Anyway 2 weeks ago , I told him I plan to take our daughter (9yrs) to see High School Musical 3 on Friday past. I asked that he pls , fetch our boy (4yrs ) from crè che and they could meet us at Mc D’ s after the movies. All was arranged and he agreed… . BUT DEEP IN MY HEART I WAS EXPECTING DISAPPOINTMENT AGAIN … . Like so many times b4.
Anyway on Friday his mom fetch both kids from school and crè che, I fetched my daughter from her and we went to the movies. At 7:15 after movie ended I ph him to find out if they were at Mc D’ s yet ????? LOW AND BEHOLD.. he was with his work collagues still having drinks. I put the phone down and was on my way home FURIOUS but decided y should I spoil my daughter nite ,we went to the spur for a quick bite. He eventually called back at 8:30 and said he would meet us there he arrived there at 8:45 1 and a half hours after I called?????
Being a public place and all I kept my angry hidden.
When I got home I told him exactly wot I thought if it…  how his word means JACK S*^T. And that spoilt the whole w/end. On Sunday I wrote him a letter explaining how hurt I was and how much I resented that he couldn’ t grant me 1 nite out ( with our daughter not even other ADULT COMPANY? . I don’ t do GIRLS NITES… . Im not that way inclined. HE just threw the letter in the bin after reading it and carried on like normal , this morning I asked “  so are we just not going to talk”  and he told me that there is nothing to talk about cos he doesn’ t see that he did anything wrong????????????? I am at my wits end… . How can he be like this AND I WRONG for feeling hurt and resentful.

Sorry of this long post. Please give me so insight cos I at such a low today.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He is being immature and selfish, and thinking mainly of himself, and not of his duties as husband and father. If he can't see anything wrong in how he behaved, then there is something seriously wrong. Maybe its time to see a counsellor to evaluate what would be best for you and the children, and maybe even to consult a lawyer, too

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Steff | 2008/11/03

It is in every woman to try and hope that everything will be fine, that he' ll change, that he' ll become a loving husband and father to your kids. Sometimes hope just isn' t enough anymore. if he really loved you and really cared, he would' ve done something by now. I think if it wasn' t for the children, you would' ve been out there a long time ago. Sometimes staying in a relationship like that, is more disastrous for the kids, than walking out. Everyone deserves happiness, and the fact that he just threw the letter out, tells me that he doesnt respect you or your relationship. I know it sounds harsh, but he needs to grow up, and you need to put your and your children' s happiness first. Good Luck!

Reply to Steff
Posted by: Anon#2 | 2008/11/03

Hi C - you don' t even have to complicate it with " another woman"  - he is behaving badly no matter what. And it' s an awful example to the kids and a ridiculous strain on you. Please don' t go an alter yourself chemically in order to be acceptable to a man that won' t even say sorry. Next thing you know, you won' t even be yourself anymore. Get some legal advice and then tell him to choose whether he wants to live alone and unaccountable, or be a working and viable part of a family.

Reply to Anon#2
Posted by: C | 2008/11/03


There was an incident last year and we went for counselling for it???? anyway he blamed it all on me ... i had a cleaning problem and thought the house was a concerntration camp and he couldn' t livew like that... i went onto meds to change my behave only to discover 3 months down the line that there was a FREIND FEMALE!!!!!
but she was in Jbh so ?
It did cross my mind tho.

Will keep my eyes and ears open.

Reply to C
Posted by: Wendy | 2008/11/03

Dear C, no you are not wrong, he has family responsiblities and surely on this one nite he could' ve forgotten friends.
Honey look into this, my hubby was doing likewise,left work at midday to sit with the boys and have drinks, each time yoy called you told I will be there soon only for him to arrive the next morning, however I finally found the " friends"  were also woman, he was having an affair and these male friends lied for him and never told me, he would put the male friends on the phone to speak to me, telling me not to worry it' s a guy thing..
I am not saying his doing likewaise but these pubbing and get together dos at times lead to this as there are lots of loose woman in the pubs just waiting for a sucker.Don' t leave it there, offer to meet him at one of these dos and see if he will agree, mine soon came home.Good luck.

Reply to Wendy
Posted by: ME | 2008/11/03

Hello C.

Gal, am sorry you didn' t have a nice weekend. All I wanna say is: Do not stress yourself, if he' s avoiding the matter, just let him do that. Just keep quite, at least you' ve told him your part of story. Unfortunately most men are so full of pride and they' re stubborn, and there' s nothing we can do bout that. Try him when he' s in a good mood, and don' t get angry or something, just try to explain calmy and tell him how you feel bout the way he reacts sometimes.

Reply to ME
Posted by: Anon | 2008/11/03

LEAVE this useless bastard! He has a great life while you' re working your butt of with the children?! He' s using you! GET OUT!

He doesn' t see what he did wrong?! AAAAAARGH!!! Leave girl, leave leave leave

Reply to Anon

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.