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Question
Posted by: confused | 2004/02/24

Please sobebody answer the previous question- I'm on the verge of calling him.

please

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Our expert says:
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conf, you've had sincere and wise responses from other readers, with which I agree. But these decisions have to be made by you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Investigator | 2004/02/26

I found this on Amazon.com. Not sure who the author is, but perhaps it might help you.

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As a relationship/dating author (Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man), I am often asked, “what can a person do if they think they’ve lost the love of their life?”
While it is useful to ask other women what they think on this subject, I believe that it is important for women to get a good opinion from the men’s side of the equation.

Here’s a short article that describes what the key factors are when it comes to completing the past and moving forward in your love life.

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LET GO OF THE BIG ONE THAT GOT AWAY

“A long past vividly remembered is like a heavy garment that clings to your limbs when you would run.”
Mary Antin
Author of The Promised Land (1912)

If you have a “fish story” that is getting in your way of present and future happiness, here are some ways to help you complete your unfinished past:

FIND A MORAL TO YOUR STORY
Close out that seemingly never-ending chapter of your love life by putting an empowering final moral to your fish story. Count your blessings for the experience one last time. Then turn the page and start a new chapter.

FOCUS ON THE LOVE LIFE IN FRONT OF YOU
A French proverb reads, “New love drives out old love.” Like driving a car, you must quit looking in the rear-view mirror at your romantic past and keep your eyes focused on the new love opportunity that is about to appear in front of you.

THINK ABUNDANCE, NOT SCARCITY
An old saying goes, “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” Realize that it only takes one fish in the sport of love. If you maximize your social opportunities, there will be plenty of good men for you to choose from.

TAKE BOLD STEPS
A German proverb reads, “Boldly ventured is half won.” If it becomes necessary, get rid of all the old love letters, turn off the sad love songs, and remove other unwanted reminders that keep you glued to a time that will never return.

OUTGROW YOUR PAST
A lost love from sixth grade shouldn’t hurt too much when you graduate from college. That’s because you’re not the same person when you graduate from college as you were in sixth grade. Use the same principle in your adult life in order to outgrow your past loves.

NEVER LOOK BACK
It’s tough to eliminate the past. But if the mere thought of the past brings up consistent regret and loss, then take one last look, freeze that moment in time forever, and then never look back. Ever!

GATHER FORWARD MOMENTUM
The final step to letting go of the big one that got away is to decisively move forward in your love life. Remember these important words of wisdom from Benjamin Disraeli, English prime minister, author, and statesman (1804-1881): “The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end.”
Make a firm decision and refuse to remain stuck in your love life. Keep moving forward in the direction of pleasurable new love opportunities until you find the right situation.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Follow these steps and you will leave the unwanted part of your past where it properly belongs—behind you.



Reply to Investigator
Posted by: Bea | 2004/02/24

Sweetie, if he cheated on you once he is most definetely going to do it again and are you really going to trust him 100%? And a relationship has to be built on trust, isn't it true? It is your decision to call him or not but consider the pro's and con's carefully? Are you prepared to always wonder and always wanting to keep an extra eye on him. You know what you always remember the people you really cared for and you always remember the people who really hurted you espescially is you don't have clousure on the matter. It depends on you if you are going to leave the past in the past and built on the future. I sometimes have dreams about men I dated when I was still in varsity. The only thing you have to be careful for is that ugly thing called "REBOUND" with this new guy. it is very soothing for your ego to get the attention but is it to proof something to yourself or because you really love him?
I hope you make the right decision for yourself!! Good luck.
B.

Reply to Bea
Posted by: bunny | 2004/02/24

heres the thing
IF he cheated on u once he will do it again! dont go back to him he doesnt deserve u.. try to fix things with the man u r with now and stop obsessing over the past

Reply to bunny

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