Posted by: Enough! | 2005/12/06

Please help me out.

I would deeply appreciate the help of any doctor or psychologist to help me with a lethal concoction of pills. I have had enough of this life. I have atemted suicide last week, but it failed. Now every day feels like I'm living in a foreign country with no money. I don't belong and don't want to belong. Please help me out. I beg you. I am willing to pay.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There is no way in which any competent or ethical doctor or psycholiogist, or anyone else, could or would, help you in the way you mention. BUT you still need, urgently, to see a good local shrink, ither privately or through the casualty dept of a large local hospital, or through the Dept of Psychiatry at your nearest medical school --- for proper assessment and help. There is no need for you to feel like this, and you could be feeling a good deal better, and enjoying life again. Only your having not got engaged in the right sort of help, is delaying that good outcome. Call Lifeline to talk things over, too.
OK, so something went wrong after a relatively recent change in your meds --- going back to the meds as they were, or making other variations in them, could make all the difference.
And as for your husband and child, you seem to be thinking only of their material / financial well-being --- the suicide of someone like you who they do indeed love, would be devastating to them --- don't underestimate that.
The comprals have surely upset your stomach for a time, and possibly also your liver. Seeing your doctor will be able to start sorting this out and moving you back towards feeling better.
You do NOT have to sacrifice yourself in order to get rid of the demon --- your shrink can help you to get rid of the demons and allow you to return to full control. Surely that is worth achieving.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Enough! | 2005/12/06

Thank you all. Thanks to you, I will live to see another day. Tomorrow I will see my shrink. Only hope I can convince him of the severity of my problem. He seems to not take me too serious...

Reply to Enough!
Posted by: Ogg | 2005/12/06

If you overdose you'll probably choke on your own vomit. Your bowels will go. Do you really want to be seen like that? Who will find you?

Reply to Ogg
Posted by: fin/ex | 2005/12/06

enough just reread your posts. listen get yourself to your doc and let him sort out your meds immediately as the rwong meds are a nightmare.
re your hub - you say you are sleeping with other men and you think he is too - it sound like things are hectic with the two of you, why not try marriage counselling and see if it can be better or try find out what is causing the problems. things are never as bad as they seem.
but first things first get yourself to your doctor or if not possible phone life line.

Reply to fin/ex
Posted by: fin/ex | 2005/12/06

i also have a few people living in my head and the way i have finally learnt to deal with them is to love them - the whole lot of them. i also have a wild child that is destructive and messes things up, along with a loving caring side etc etc etc. i have just learnt every day to try and love all those 'people' inside of me that make me what i am. be kind to the wild side. she probably just needs some wise words from the wise one inside of you. every day take time to be kind to her, she is calling out for love and help. be there for her don't kill her off. accept her and i promise she'll stop playing up the whole time and will give the other parts time to be more dominant.
hang in there
accepting her is the first step, i think

Reply to fin/ex
Posted by: ASP | 2005/12/06

Enough, as you can see there is more than one or two people that care about you. Not only in this virtual world we like to call a forum but in your own personal life. You have a husband, a loving child and probanly soooo much more. Something that some people will never have in their entire lives.

Promise us to get the help you need. Share your feeling with the people close to you and take action. Take action to save your live, not end it. Would you rather everyone remember you as the one that could not face your problems or as the strong one that faced it all head on and survived it?

I for one will pray for you sweetheart. Be strong!!!

Reply to ASP
Posted by: Jade | 2005/12/06

Oh & you say there are many reasons whay you should end your life, but you only mentioned one.
That is that the demon is controlling your life!
One reason is no reason at all to end your life !!!

There are a whole lot more reasons why you should LIVE !!!

1. Your Child
2. Your husband
3. Your family
4. Without you in this world there are going to be many people who will not experience your love & friendship that you have to offer.
5. You will never again experience the warmth of the sun, the cool breeze of the wind.
6. There will be no more I love you mommy from your child.
7. There will only be an eternity of darkness.
8. There are so many other reasons, I could just go on and on.
9. And on & on. You are worth living for !!!
10. The demon is one obstacle that you are able to overcome!

Reply to Jade
Posted by: Jade | 2005/12/06

Isn't that just too big a sacrifice to make !!!
Besides there are other ways to get rid of the demon! I've been there & know how you feel. I also had this demon, evil person inside me. I was constantly fighting all the different voices in my head and it just really seemed to make me tired.
Then i read something a few months back, which Figured it Out has recentley said as well, & I quote from Figured it outs posting :-"

"You know the story about the old man talking to his grandson, telling him that inside his stomach there are two wolves fihting eachother to the death. One is the angry, bitter, hurt wolf, the other is the wolf of hope, happiness, opportunity, chance taking etc. And these two are constantly fighting.

The little boy asks, "Which one wins in the end...?"

The old man replies, "the one you feed"

The world is going to do nothing for you other than just be itself and offer things for you to choose from. You choose. The thing is, once you make that choice, however daunting, its like a snowball that just starts rolling, getting bigger and better as it rolls. You must make a radical life changing decision, not life ending, but life CHANGING! You've got nothing to lose, but so much to gain. You cant see it, its like a horse with blinkers, not going to see anything new unless it changes direction it looks in. "

So if you feed the demon, it will win. I know that you don't really want to end your life, but at this moment its just seems like the only way out. So please before you end your life, do the things on the list I gave you. & Do what ever CS tells you to do, then if you still feel like you need to make that sacrifice cos nothing else is killing the demon, then I can't stop you, but I really hope you will not choose to kill the demon by killing yourself.
Rather feed the positive you, the happy you and let the demon starve to death. That way you will still be around to give your child the support he/she needs.

Reply to Jade
Posted by: Enough! | 2005/12/06

There are so many reasons why I should leave. I can't trust myself. I don't even know myself anymore. I'm three diferent people. In one. And I'm too weak to keep the wild one in takt. She just goes wild. I can't sit back anymore and watch her ruin my life. The only way to stop her is to kill her. Sounds sick I know. But that is honostly what I'm dealing with here. I have to sacrifice myself to get rid of the demon.

Reply to Enough!
Posted by: Twig | 2005/12/06

E, what was it like before you started to feel like this?

Reply to Twig
Posted by: Jade | 2005/12/06

Oh & promise me that whatever Cybershrink says you must do, you will do it within 24 hours.
You must do what he says before you leave !!!!!

I am keeping you in my prayers.

Reply to Jade
Posted by: Jade | 2005/12/06

Please do me one last favour before you do anything.

What I want you to do is hang around for at least just another 24hrs. Don't do anything to end your life until the 24 hrs are up.
Now while you waiting for the 24 hrs to go by, I want you to do the following :-

* Don't do anything until you've read Cyber's comments.
* Go for a nice hot bath and soak & relax. Put some nice relaxing backround music on.
* Have a good cup of coffee & dip a biscuit in it. If you love chocolate ! Yummy I love the way it melts & is all soft. If you like savoury get yourself some nice biltong or bacon kips.
* Now after your bath & cookies, make an appointment to see the doctor today! Tell him how you've been feeling and that you took the comprals & can't keep any food down!
If the doctor is unavailable, don't leave it their, go the your nearest hospital and go to the trauma unit. They can check you out too.
* When you get back run around the house.
* Now have something cold to drink to cool off.
* Come back to this forum & let us know how you doing.
* Spend the last 12 hours with your child & really consider wether ending your life is the best thing for your kid.
* Pray to God & ask him to help you out this deep dark pit other than ending your life, cos that's not what he intended for your life.
* Tell your husband how you feeling and ask him to help you.

No love is greater than a mothers love for a child & for a child no love is greater than the love it recieves from its mother !!! Don't deprive your child !!!!

Promise me you will at least do everyone of these things before you end your life.

Reply to Jade
Posted by: Jade | 2005/12/06

Enough !
Please think about your child. No friend or family member can ever replace a mother !!!!!! Do you really want your child to lead a miserable life becos its mother didn't care enough about him/her. Be responsible. I know that everything is dark & miserable at the moment, but there is light at the end of the tunnel !!!

Don't leave your child ! He/she really needs you. There is no replacement you could organise except YOU !!!

Now show him/her that you are caring enough to go to the hospital and get better. I know you don't want to do it for yourself. But do it for you child. Your flesh & blood.
Don't be so selfish to leave your child behind with all your problems plus a million more that you will cause if you take your own life.

We care about you, please go to the hospital and get the help you deserve.
Please I beg you.

Reply to Jade
Posted by: Enough! | 2005/12/06

I have done everything I can. Nothing is fun anymore. My husband and kid will be well provided for. He has alot of family around here. Hes mother can move down to help him. Me? I really have to go. Thank you for al your answers. I appreciate it

Reply to Enough!
Posted by: Twig | 2005/12/06

Please don't do this to us. I can't take it anymore. Get the help you need and deserve. I beg you.

Reply to Twig
Posted by: Nicolai | 2005/12/06

Keep on trying new meds till u find hat you are looking for, don't just stop. You are in such a dark place now, that you can't even see the light (most of us have been there) - but it is there, waiting for you.

Sounds like messed up your stomach with the comprals, they are such strong tabs that even two makes my stomach burn. Get to the doc, tell him the TRUTH and you will feel better - no doubt about it.

Reply to Nicolai
Posted by: Jade | 2005/12/06

Its good to hear from you! I know meds can do strange things and make you feel so different & not yourself, until you find the right combination of meds that suite you.

You should go back to your doc and discuss how the meds have been affecting you.

Have you been to the doc to see what damage you did to your body by taking the comprals last Thursday? If you not able to eat properly this will only contribute to you feeling so down in the dumps. Go have yourself checked out. You don't want to do any more damage to yourself.

Reply to Jade
Posted by: Enough! | 2005/12/06

I am bipolar. My meds have been altered cause I wanted to loose weight. Then I changed into this person I did not recognise. I started seeing other men, even sleeping with them. This is not me. But it was exciting, and I let it happen. Now I feel terrible. Knowing what I did to my wonderfull husband. On the other hand, I think he's been cheating too. With another man. So, yea. I don't know. I took 40 comprals and gin on thursday night, and still can't eat or drink anyting without getting sick. I saw everything. Did everything. Now what?

Reply to Enough!
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/06

Reading your post gives me somewhat of a lift, thank you for that. Just makes me realise how things that others face is perceived to be worse than mine. Thanks for showing me - you make a difference.

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: twink | 2005/12/06

enough, i dont think anyone on this forum would want to help you end your life. the people on this forum want to help save lives...

what has happened to make you feel this way? nothing can be that bad for you to want to take your life. but, then again i dont know what it is you're going through. just know, that no matter how you're feeling though, and no matter how bad it may get, there are people here that are willing to listen and be a shoulder to cry on ...

Reply to twink
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/06

no one here whats to end it all why don't you call the numbers listed at the top of the page? seek help but don't play with us and make us worry about you. i believe most people who threathen to do it will eventually find the means, hope you are the exception to the rule

Reply to ...
Posted by: Jade | 2005/12/06

Hi there Enough,

You quite clearly aren't feeling to great on this wonderful Tuesday Morning.

Please go get the help that you so truely deserve. Go to your nearest hospital or phone the help numbers at the top of this page.
You need to take care of yourself here for a change.
No matter how bad life seems, no matter what horrible things you have done in the past, or what horrible things have been done to you in the past. Killing yourself is NOT AN OPTION !!!
Nothing can be more important than your LIFE !!!!!!!!
Go get the help you truely deserve !

Reply to Jade

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