Posted by: Vinny | 2007/02/28

Please help- boyfriend vs daughter vs me

My “so called” boyfriend was invited to a get together with one of the companies he is dealing with. Today he called me telling me that HE is going to the party tomorrow night. I asked him, so why can I not go with – his response: you can but I am going. This afternoon he called me and he told me that he is taking his daughter with him. I immediately ignited and told him how is this “committed” relationship working. Now I have to stay at home and he is taking his daughter with. Please tell me what should I read into this. To me – I’m his partner and I feel I should go with him, instead I get dumped, and have to stay at home so that his daughter can accompany him. My brain is baffled, please give me your opinion. That is not the only problem. His daughter tried to commit suicide a while ago by overdosing on her mothers anti depressants. She survived this ordeal. The problem is now – every time she snaps her fingers he has to leave everything and run after her, or else she threatens to try and kill herself again. She was committed to some clinic for two weeks, but she is back to her pattern again. How do I handle both these situations? Please help I am losing my mind ????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not taking you might be excusable--- some "business" parties aren't suitable for taking a partner. But taking his daughter sounds weird --- how old is she ? You may have answered your own question, though, that he may have been persuaded, falsely, to feel guilt over his daughter's OD ( which was her choice, not his ), and is now allowing her to manipulate him. But what will his business colleagues think of him for arriving with his daughter in tow ? He should discuss her manipulativeness witht he shrink caring for her at the clinic

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Our users say:
Posted by: Vinny | 2007/03/01

She is 22 years old

Reply to Vinny
Posted by: ole | 2007/02/28

Do you really believe he is taking his daughter? Perhaps he is going alone or taking someone else or not going to a business meeting after all. I'm sure you feel hurt and want answers to his strange behaviour.

Also remember his daughter means a lot to him and perhaps he puts her first in his life and you second. You can't compete with his daughter but manipulation is bad news.

Guess you need to have an open honest talk about how committed he is to your relationship.

Reply to ole

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