Our expert says:
Its not clear from your message what sort of therapy you are receiving ; presumably some form of psychotherapy.
The sort of pattern you describe sounds rather like Borderline Syndrome, where people find it hard to have stable relatonships, and may so much fear bein abandoned by someone else, that they either walk out themselves, or push the other person so as to force them to walk out. YOur therapist needs to be business-like and practical, in helping you to practice different ways of managing your relationships, and to avoid the self-defeating patterns you describe.
Your husband's cousine sounds like a rude and common woman, and isn't it possible that your husband is, rather, embarrassed by her behaviour ?
And you don't ask him, for fear that he may say Yes - so you prevent him from saying No, and putting your mind a rest.
Ask your therapist to work with you on this, to rehearse ways in which you could discuss these concerns with your husband, without starting an argument.
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