Our expert says:
I understand the difficulty of discovering in someone you care about, signs suggestive of a real illness which, for various reasons, they don't want to take seriously or deal with. If he has any form of depression of bipolar disorder, the alcohol will not help and will easily make it worse, as well as interfering in any treatment he might eventually have. As you say, some of the acute aspects of his problems could be due to the divorce, but equally the divorce could be due to these patterns of behaviour. <br>Proper expert assessment and treatment are needed --- one can't just say Well, he clearly has appendicitis, but we won't encourage him to see a surgeon. <br>And it does indeed sound as though he is excessively, almost unnaturally, close to his daughter which is actually not good for either of them. And it sounds as i you have been invited to work for and fac ilitate their relationship, rather than to actually enjoy one of your own. This does not sound at all like a wholesome set-up, or one within you are likely to find any lasting happiness, the way it is and how it is going. As it sounds as though he is a devout practitioner of Denial and determined to avoid looking at anything that's wrong with their lives, he's not likely to ever fix these things or allow them to be fixed. I don't see where there's any lasting role for you in his existing relationship, other than as an assistant and facilitator.<br>
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