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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2007/07/18

Please help

I have been in a relationship for 6 yrs. We recently had a baby. While i was pregnant, i caught my fiance chatting to other women on mxit. They were sending him naked photos! i confronted him and he denied everything, i then caught him again and he admitted and promised to stop. However, he is still messing around on mxit. I feel betrayed. I know he hasn't physically cheated, but i still feel like he is cheating on me. Am i over reacting?

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Our expert says:
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No of course you aren't over-reacting --- anyone would find this distasteful and disloyal. WHy not get him to see a relationship counsellor with you ? And why, if he means to stop it, why doesn't he simply erase the useless and mischievout MxIt program from his equipment altogether ? This is emotional cheating, even if not physical.

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Our users say:
Posted by: HKY | 2007/07/18

I agree with Chelle, tell him you have also joined Mxit and you would like him to take a few pics of you for some guys you have met on Mxit

Reply to HKY
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/07/18

One never knows where these kinds of things will stop. If he doesn't find it acceptable that you do the same thing, and if he has promised to stop and hasn't then as I see it, there is a problem.

He is practising double standards, and clearly doing something which he agrees he shouldn't be doing, yet does it anyway - it shows no respect for you or for himself.

If he can't control his actions on a silly mxit program, then can you be certain that he can control his actions in other areas of his life?

That type of behaviour would raise many concerns in my mind as to the character of the person.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Jacqui | 2007/07/18

If he does not think it a problem then there is a problem. If he cannot commit to counselling or to 'tidying up his act', then you are in for much more heartache in the future.

Reply to Jacqui
Posted by: jaybe | 2007/07/18

no, you are not over reacting coz he won't like it if you do the same. so confront him again and i f he promises to stop and continues then give him a reason to stop. e.g get on to mxit and start chating see how he will feel about it. if he cares 4 u he will definately stop.

Reply to jaybe
Posted by: Please help! | 2007/07/18

That is wat i did when i first caught him, that is why he promised to stop - but he hasn't. Do you think that there is a bigger problem behind this, is this just curiosity on his behalf, or is he straying?

Reply to Please help!
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/07/18

No - you are not over reacting - if you have any doubt, ask him whether he'd be happy for you to send nude pics of yourself to other men, or accept nude pics from other men. His response should tell you everything.

Reply to Chelle

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