Posted by: sad | 2008/10/06

please any1 i need advice

hi doc and anybody else that would be able to assist me. im a 20 year old female and i have a boyfriend of the same age last year december while having sex the condom broke but we didnt use a morning after pill i dont know why we both never thot of it. i found out 3 weeks later that i was pregnant, it was a big shock to both of us even thou we wasnt expecting it but we both workd really hard to get as much money as we can in order to take responsibility. so happens i had a miscarriage at 10 wks which i still cant accept. the thot of my baby just makes me cry.

2 weeks after the miscarriage i asked him about contraception and if he ageed with me taking it he said he didnt agree because they could be dangerous and i agreed with him. i asked again about 3 times on 3 diffrent occasions about contraception and he refused

for the past 6 months our sex life is gone down the drain he makes every excuse not to spend time with me so finally yesterday i had the guts to ask him wats going on he never answered me i didnt force him for an answer as he was drinking he just said wat he always says his busy with work and so on.

so i waited till he was a bit tipsy and i asked again and he said he doesn' t feel comfortable having sex because im not on the pill and his scared that i might became pregnant again and he told me that he wants me to go on the pill but he also said his not forcing me to.

so i asked him why he didnt tell me that this is how he felt.he said i would over react which i did, i told him if he thinks am going to put him in a trap by getting pregnant then we rather not have sex at all.

im just scared as i really wanna have a child wen am ready but im afraid of taking contraception because i dont want complications. i dont know wat to do

please try to help me

thank you

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Our expert says:
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Yes, there are some small risks associated with contraception --- but there are other, sometimes higher risks, to continuing to have sex without contraception --- pregnancy has major health risks, as does miscarriage. Its It doesn't sound as though he is fearing entrapment by you becoming pregnant, so much as fearing an unwanted pregnancy happening anyway, as it did last time.
See a good clinic and have them explain to you all the different methods of contraception, their advantages and disadvantages, so you can make a snsible choice for yourself, and I suspect your bf will feel very relieved and less worried.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2016/02/25

Where can I get hold of morning after pills without being asked a prescription. Me and my fiance had sex on Tuesday 23-02-2016 and i think i moght have came inside her and we do not want a baby as yet until we are married ..what can we do in this case. Please assist thank you

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: sad | 2008/10/08

thanx alot guys for the advice. i appreciate it and am gonna go for the pill.

thanx guys god bless

Reply to sad
Posted by: Anon | 2008/10/07

Sad if you are a christian and do not believe in abortion then please do not use the copper T as posted above - it does not prevent pregnancy but as soon as you are pregnant ( a few hours) it causes an abortion so to speak - if you believe life starts at conception then dont use this device. The injection delays fertility as I said earlier so your best bet is the pill - speak to the clinic - its free or pay a small fee at clicks or dischem

Reply to Anon
Posted by: jcat | 2008/10/06

Sad - I am sorry about the miscarriage, and the tensions you and b/f have gone through since. There are both injections and pills that your doc could prescribe, or as Carla says, an IUD/copper T. With both the injection and the pill, there is no loss of fertility when you stop - generally though there can be up to a 6 month delay before you conceive. So either of those is ok to use until you are ready to have kids.

It sounds from what you say about yourself and about him that you are both responsible and caring people. But you are still very young, both of you. I' d suggest that you look at either the injection or the IUD, so that it' s not a constant ' in your face'  kind of thing that you have to do every day, and that will worry him every day as well. And use condoms in addition - being extra-careful will probably help him to relax a bit more, and help you as well.

Good luck, and hope everything goes well, for all of you.

Reply to jcat
Posted by: c | 2008/10/06

Hi there

The pill is free at any state clinic. They will give you three months supply at a time and later six months supply at a time. Hope this helps?

Good Luck

Reply to c
Posted by: Carla | 2008/10/06

Sad - you can only buy the pill if you have a prescription, so you will have to speak to your doctor who will probably recommend yasmin. I would rather recommend a copper T loop. This is a small copper device that a gynea inserts into your vagina and it can stay there for up to 5 years. I think it costs less than R500, depending on your gynea. The advantage is that you do not have to buy pills each month, you do no have to remember to drink the pill every day and it does not interfere with your natural hormones at all. The minute you have it removed you can fall pregnant immediately. It does hurt a bit to have it inserted and you will feel something like menstrual pains for a few days, but after that you will not know about it at all. Read up on it on the Internet and speak to your gynea about the possibility.

Reply to Carla
Posted by: sad | 2008/10/06

thank you all for your advice i really appreciate it.i know this is properly not the forum to ask this but do any of you know of a light birth control pill i could use?

Reply to sad
Posted by: Carla | 2008/10/06

Both of you sounds way too immature to be even taking the risk of having and raising children. In fact - you should not be having sex at all.

Millions of women worldwide use contraceptives responsibly without complications and are able to have children when the time is right.

Enjoy your youth, use contraceptives if you really must have have sex, but please do not have a baby now. Wait till you meet the man that you want to marry and spend your whole life with. Kids should not be raised out of marriage.

Reply to Carla
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/06

contraception does not cause complications and it is the responsible thing to do. you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you - there is plenty of time to be a mother. If you can afford it go and see a Sister at the clicks or dischem pharmacies - they will charge about R50 and will give you all the advice you need. If you cant afford it then go to a govt clinic in your area but if you are having an active sex life you should be using contraception - the pill would be best as the injection does delay fertility.
your boyfriend has not really handled it correctly but he is young and scared. He is probably relieved now it is out in the open. It is sad about the baby you lost and you sound like you would have been responsible and taken care of it but hopefully one day you will have a chance to be a mom. In the meantime take advantage of being young and live your life to the full. Children are wonderful (I have 4 and had my first one very young) but find yourself and establish yourself first.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Jk | 2008/10/06

Why don' t you speak to a doctor about the pros and cons of various contraceptives to be sure.

Reply to Jk
Posted by: ME | 2008/10/06

Why don' t you go and see a gynae, maybe he/she can advise you of what contraceptive maybe good for you.

Reply to ME

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