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Question
Posted by: Sillyme | 2005/12/07

Please advise:


My BF and I are separated at the moment. I’m in CT and he”s gone to Jhb on business. We have been intimately involved now for 5 months. This is the first time that we are apart. I miss him terribly but he’ll be back in a months time. When he sms’d me last night, I had guests and told him I’ll sms him later when they leave.
He wanted to know who visited and I lied by telling him a certain guy was there…(wanted to see if he would get jealous).
He did and was upset with me for having guys around while he’s away. I eventually told him that I lied about this guy being there cos I wanted to see his reaction . I apologised but he has since not
returned any of my sms’s. Do I just leave things and wait till he does?? I know I shouldn’t have tested him…

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I have never come across even one single time when attempts to make a loved one jealous, turned out to be a wise idea. Leave him to cool off, after your bad joke went awry. How would you feel if he had "tested" you in the same way ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Donkie | 2005/12/07

I don't know how you're going to do it, but you'll have to prove to him that you love him and only him and that you are not interested in anybody else.

Reply to Donkie
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/07

Never test your partner without a damn good reason for doing so. you have created a problem where there wasn't one.

Your only recourse now is to explain why you did it, and apoligise profusely for doing so. What you have done is hurt his feelings terribly. This is the last thing he expected you to do, and feels that you have played an emotional game with him, unecessaily.

If you are insecure, explain why. If you are missing him, tell him that. He needs ot feel and believe in your security and strength of the relationship. By testing him like htis, you have shown him that the relationship is not as solid as he thought it was. he is hurt. Rebuild the strength, through honesty and trust.

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/07

Why did you feel the need to test him? If you are not secure in the relationship then it is not what it should be. You have damaged the relationship and if he does decide to continue it with you, you are going to have to do a lot of hard work to repair what you have done. I seriously hope that this has taught you a lesson. Lying is never worth it, no matter what the reason.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: southernwrite | 2005/12/07

Silly move - now he is not sure and he is p&^%%$ed off because you tested him

Reply to southernwrite

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