Posted by: Confused EX | 2013/02/01


My ex threw me and my infant son out at end September after 2.5 yrs living together having met 3.5 yrs before and having on off relationship those years and accross border
He moved in with a woman from work about 5 weeks later but says he did not leave me for her which is whatever
he says i treated him as an object and showed no love or care etc but stuck it out as didnt want to end things
In august we were looking at engagement rings and 3 wks later over
Even tho we have a son and we are trying to work out visitation and maintenance through lawyers, he is in CONSTANT contact with me,
He only ever makes contact when at work and out on site and never in evenings (unless works late) or weekends when home.
He made such a fuss to see his child on his birthday which is weird as son 9mths old
He is always bringing up our past in conversation (see him weekly for visits with son) and most of them pertain to our sex life
I dont know if he is playing me to get contract to his favour or if he is genuinely actually missing his friend in me

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Our expert says:
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Well, judging from how badly he treated you and your child, he may be an expert at treating people like an object and at showing no love and care.
I'm not sure of the wisdom of sorting out maintenance and visitation through lawyers ( it may be much more costly, and benefit whoever can affor4d the most expensive lawyer ), rather than going to the Maintenance Court for a Magistrate to decide ; but that's your decision. Make sure you protect your rights and those of the child.
That he never contacts you outside of his working hours, suggests he might have someone else living with him, who doesn't want him to contact you.
Maybe even he doesn't quite understand what he is doing in his contacts with you, but he sounds like a highly unreliable and uncaring friend or spouse

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Our users say:
Posted by: SK | 2013/02/01

YOU have to decide what YOU want. If you have accepted that this relationship is finished then tell him to stop discussing anything that has nothing to do with the baby. Also discuss a feasible visitation plan to allow yourself an opportunity to move on with your life. You cannot have someone imposing on your life whenever is convenient for him and disregard you whenever it is not.

With regards to your conversations, he is just making conversation, do not read too much into it. If he wanted or missed you he would have told you or made some efforts to apologise and mend his ways.

Reply to SK
Posted by: SAM | 2013/02/01

im in a similar relationship but im ENDING it today all i can say is ,walk away its tireing emotionaly to go through thngs like this an at frst we allow these thngs to happen .. we weak .. make urself strong an jus let go an i know how extremely difficult that is .. but for u an ur child ..let him go .. goodluck take care of ur son his the only person that shud matter now .. take time to heal and be strong .. pray ,do thngs that makes you feel happy ,take time to cry ,shout .. do it we human we make mestakes in life ,an i will not judge you if you take him back because 1 day u will say you had enough that is how i feel now ... bigg huggg

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