Posted by: hurting | 2009/05/25

planned pregnancy, now he' s gone

My fiace of two years and I have talked about having a baby for morethan a year. Last year we decided to give it a shot. I am now 25 weeks pregnant. I am happy with it and I am looking forward to holding my little boy in my arms. Since i got pregnant, our relationship detreiorated. he has been down, not getting work, I supported him, he used to get piece jobs and when he got money he would spoil himself with clothes and perfumes. Now he is starting a business, he even managed to buy a car. he moved out of my place, he got his own, all of a sudden there are different girls calling him at night, sometimes when I call him at night he does not pick up my calls, we have fought about this for as long as I am pregnant. Lastnight he told me he will stay with me only because of the bacby. I told him that is not good enough for me, and I am glad he was honest with me, cause I feel I' ve made a fool of myself chasing him, I told him our child will be fine with or without him, he can move on with his life. he apologised and said he was only joking and did not mean what he said. it hurts so much. I am confused and I don' t know what to say. Should I give him his ring back? or should should I stay a bit longer and see how things turn out?

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Our expert says:
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Sad that they guy is such an irresponsible and vain jerk ( struggles to get work, but wastes money on perfumes ? ) I don't understand why guys who have failed at everything else they touch, assume they can just "start a business" and the money will start rolling in. Buying a car is one thing, paying for it is something else. How is this unemployed guy suddenly able to afford a car, a business and his own place ? Where is this money coming from ? Tell him the pair of you need sessions of marriage / relationship counselling to see if this can work out. And don't let him go without getting the Maintenance COurt to make an order requiring him to pay full costs and maintenance for the child. And if he says he can't afford that, he can sell the car.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Seeech ! | 2009/05/25

It seems as if this creep did not do much of the planning by the sounds of it. Just used you and you allowed it. If you get engaged, you give the guy a maximum of 1 year to get you to the altar, in fact you should set a date at the time. 2 years fooling around is too long as you have discovered. For a start get rid of the creep NOW. Then sue him for maintenance and take him for what you can, its the only way. Try to recover what little self pride you may still have and stop running after him !! Get some guts girl and stop being a ninny.

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