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Question
Posted by: Spiritual | 2004/03/11

PERPLEXED!

I met this interesting, successful, straightforward, caring & honest man and liked him very much. Problem is he is too conservative and set on his way. Firstly, he don't want to experiment with kissing. He got one way of kissing which is proping his tongue in my mouth & secondly, he don't want to experiment with oral sex. Oral sex arouses me and I totally love it, even if he don't reciprocate, I would enjoy doing it to him. How do I turn him around without making him feel inadequate or hurting his feelings. I care deeply for this man & would like to handle this matter sensitively and considerately.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Spiritual,
Talk about it, and take your time. And keep trying, but gently, moving towards what you want by tiny, gradual steps, rather than expecting to take the plunge all at once. I confess I didn't know that tongue in mouth was the Conservative manner of kissing, but maybe I haven't kissed too many Conservatives.
Admirably you say you care about him enough to want to handle this with sensitivity and consideration. One method that can be very useful, is to praise him for all that he does right, to talk about how much you like it when he does x or y, and to ask if he'd try a little Z. And maybe also, explore more about what HE'd like, about how HE fels, which would also give you more to work on.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Romantic coach | 2004/03/11

YEs, talk talk talk. Tell him what you want and encourage him to experiment. At least just to give it a try.

COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE

Reply to Romantic coach
Posted by: Frustrated | 2004/03/11

Hi. Have you found out why he is so set in his intimacy ways? Did something not happen to him before which has caused him to be this way? Might be his parent are of those who teach their children sex is bad, and meant only for reproduction purposes. You care anough to work at it, don't give up, talk to him, and keep talking to him, you will find the reasons and with that the solutions. Be patient darling!

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