Posted by: Confused | 2009/09/08

People that hate themselves

Hi Dr, Hows it going?

Just something I would like to understand with regard to people. Why do some people hate themselves? I am generally a happy person, (with problems of course, I mean who hasn' t any?), and I have a had a few girlfriends over the years and I am really enjoying my life. Yet, I see people (OK, I am talking males here, I am one myself), my age, late twenties or maybe early thirties, even younger twenties, really have a hard time to enjoy life.

I try to help them, encorage them to get girlfriends, take them out, show them how to approach women etc, yet towards the end of the evening, they become dispondant, and would rather just go home. I see that they get very angry with themselves, and speaking to them, I can see that they hate themselves.

I try to help them become confident, and to think positive etc, but to no avail. Surely there must be something that can be done to sort this out. I do not want to give up on them, and I wiull try to help as many as possible, as I believe that they should also enjoy life before they get too old and live in regret. Some of them are so shy, it just isn' t funny. How do I understand what is going on to help them?

I have also tried talking them into going for therapy, and they wanna kill me lol (figuratively of course). They are such nice people, always kind, giving way for others, always showing respect for others, yet they get taken advantage of. They don' t get the respect back that they deserve. What to do?

-wow, this is long, hope it was not too much to read :)

Take it easy!

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Posted by: Rick | 2009/09/08

Hi Confused,

I hear what you are saying, my ex wife was/is hates herself. She had a lovely personality and was physically beautiful in every respect, model beautiful. But she could not face herself in the mornings or look in a mirror without almost flinching. I was with her for 10 years and coul dnto break through, we tried everything, councelling as well. She went through all the beauty treatments, you could think of, even had a boob job, but nothing helped, she eventually walked out, stating that she wanted to party again and be free...quite weird. But at the end of the day, she hates herself and has no confidence or belief in herself, very sad for these people, cause they will never find happiness unless they sort themselves out...someway.


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