Our expert says:
There are a number of things that can be done to 'spice' things up - but do beware, setting a specific night (i.e. a romantic night tomorrow night) can put a lot of pressure on things and my concern is that you could be very disappointed if things don't meet your expectations... It sounds like you think the intimacy is less because of your weight, if that is so, I think it is an idea for you to get some support to understand why this is happening. I'm guessing that you have struggled emotionally, and if so, could probably benefit from some form of counselling.
I am also wondering about your discomfort with oral sex - not that everyone likes it, but it can be made more pleasurable if you want to try it...use flavoured condoms, wash his penis as part of the foreplay, don't use only your mouth (i.e. trying to do it all with your mouth as if it's a vagina - it's not and it is uncomfortable to hold your mouth in this position for any length of time) - lick along the shaft, suck a little, use your hand to help, do it in a position where you control the depth his penis goes so that you don't gag.
Back to spicing things up - there are so many possibilities, where to begin?
- you could try things like teasing him (e.g. if he agrees, tie his hands up whilst you kiss and touch him all over. Even though you say you don't like oral sex, you could use little bits of oral sex as part of this 'play') as part of your foreplay. You could finish off on top of him - you sitting astride him and completing with penetration. This could also be stimulating for you if you rub your genital area over his penis.
- get some lubricant to enhance sensation - use this on him or yourself
- what about mutual oral sex - ('69') - lie on your side or kneel over him face to his genitals and your genitals to his face
- mutual stimulation by hand, perhaps talking through your fantasies or what you know turns him on
- rear entry sex (doggy style)
- sex in a place other than the bedroom (as long as it's still private)
|Why don't you ask him what he wants and think about what you are prepared to try...
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