Our expert says:
Sorry to hear you've had problems elsewhere. I'm not clear whether you feel it's gross because you think it might be unclean and can't understand how he cleans it, or because it IS unclean, and you have seen that it is. It is a fact that for a fair number of men the foreskin is too tight for it to be possible for them to pull it back fully, or that it is painful for them to do so. But this needn't prevent them from cleaning it perfectly well, especially if they bath rather than shower.
ut if he isn't careful about cleaning it properly, material can accumulate there and become infected, causing him great discomfort, and maybe needing a circumcision.
But however it is, this is a problem not only of hygiene but of personal taste --- and if is is unpleasant for you, you are under no obligation to accept sexual contact with him, and can explain that you find this bothersome and want him to discuss it with his doctor and get things cleaned up.
Actually retracting the foreskin fully on a daily basis isn't strictly essential to maintain good hygiene, as long as he is careful and as clean as possible. H makes the excellent point that he is probably awfully embarrassed about this, and your gentle encouragement to see his doctor could be useful.
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