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Question
Posted by: Disgusted | 2004/11/02

Penis problem

Before I get chased off this forum please note that the other dr.s don't reply and that's why I have turned here. On the Sexologist site you just get rude comments.

My boyfriend has never pulls his foreskin back, not ever and although we have not yet had sex I have helped him by hand and I just pull it forward. I feel this is not just gross and looks gross it's disgusting. How does he clean it ?

I cannot continue having a sexual relationship with a man I feel is dirty. I have not ever seen him clean afterwards and once I asked him how it happend and he said he couldnt be bothered to pull it back so eventually it just cant anymore.

Please don't be rude I do need help.

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Our expert says:
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Sorry to hear you've had problems elsewhere. I'm not clear whether you feel it's gross because you think it might be unclean and can't understand how he cleans it, or because it IS unclean, and you have seen that it is. It is a fact that for a fair number of men the foreskin is too tight for it to be possible for them to pull it back fully, or that it is painful for them to do so. But this needn't prevent them from cleaning it perfectly well, especially if they bath rather than shower.
ut if he isn't careful about cleaning it properly, material can accumulate there and become infected, causing him great discomfort, and maybe needing a circumcision.
But however it is, this is a problem not only of hygiene but of personal taste --- and if is is unpleasant for you, you are under no obligation to accept sexual contact with him, and can explain that you find this bothersome and want him to discuss it with his doctor and get things cleaned up.
Actually retracting the foreskin fully on a daily basis isn't strictly essential to maintain good hygiene, as long as he is careful and as clean as possible. H makes the excellent point that he is probably awfully embarrassed about this, and your gentle encouragement to see his doctor could be useful.

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Our users say:
Posted by: H | 2004/11/02

We do and are supposed to...Q is right he is going to get an infection if he does not sort it out asap. He is probably embarressed as well about going to the Doc so be gentle when trying to convince him to go to the Doc. Explain to him that he would not like it if you never washed your privates and that it is not healthy at all. Also, he is not getting any more lovin if he does not get himself sorted out.

Reply to H
Posted by: Disgusted | 2004/11/02

You make it sound so easy but I guess that's the long and the short of it. I always thought that men had to pull it back and clean it daily ?

Reply to Disgusted
Posted by: Q | 2004/11/02

Gee he has a big problem, it is going to get infected and if its bad he can become sterile because of the infection. He needs to go to a urologist for help!!! It myst be smelly as well so please tell him to go or leave because if he has an infection he will give it to you and if he is not clean it will do the same to you!!!!

Unfortunatly he ither goes for help or does not tuch you end of story!!!! good luck!

Reply to Q

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