Our expert says:
Well, as a divorce she's probably not an advocate of marriage. You need good legal advice - I think courts ought to award generous maintenance payments to a spouse so wronged for such frivolous reasons, though I gather this doesn't usually happen.
What right has he to ask you to remain a friend or lover after what he plans to do for such entirely selfish reasons ? Make sure a court orders him tom pay maximum maintenance, and that it recognizes his abusive behaviour towards you and the children. Paying maintenance, which is his responsibility, does not need to mean that he, as an abuser, has any right to access to the children
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