Posted by: ec | 2003/12/11

Partner on holiday with kids & ex

Am I confused or what? Am I being emotionally minipulated?My partner and I have been living together for 18months. I've never met his kids (17,20)and they apparently hate me (or the fact that their dad is with someone else).He doesn't see them often but when he does they fight with him about the (now unneccesary!) divorce, me, and other stuff.They've threatened to change their surname, his d says she won't let him walk her down the aisle when she decides to marry, his son won't let him hug him (says he may pick up a diseace-'cos of me)etc etc. BUT they want him to go on holiday with them over xmas and ofcourse the ex will be with them. My partner feels 'obliged' to go (according to him they are still children and don't 'understand') and needless to say my son and friends thinks it's outrages that he even considers this. I am not happy about it but told him to do what he feels. I feel fed-up actually but don't want to make a scene. A part of me wants to tell him not to bother coming back....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Answered above, at your second posting of this question --- and I agree with Mona.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mona | 2003/12/11

I dont agree with Lady Nina.... I have a child with my first husband, and i sure as hell wont be going on holiday with him NEVER!! Having a child together does not bind you, yes it makes you have to speak to that person for a couple of years about things that interest the child, but when you are divorced, you are divorced. Your life as a couple is over, all expectations as a couple is over, thats why you get divorced! No way has the father of the children have a right / obligation to go anywhere the mother of the kids.

Reply to Mona
Posted by: lady nina | 2003/12/11

hi there

my best friend is divorced and going with her ex on holiday - for the sake of their child she says...

i see the hope in her eyes and the excitement in her child's and i'm torn in 2 -

i don't think is fair of us who are not emotionallly involved to judge or even try to understand why they do these "stupid" things

all i say is count yourself lucky you are not involved and can still cut your losses and walk away
once two people have kids they are bind together for ever...

take care


Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Mona | 2003/12/11

I will certainly tell him not to come back!!! At 17 and 20 they defenately aren't kids anymore! And even if they were 5 and 10, that doesnt give him the right to go on holiday with his kids AND EX!! If you let him back in the house after his little rondevoux, you are defenately mad! Tell him to choose, he cant have his bread buttered on both sides.

Reply to Mona

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