Our expert says:
Well, if its selfish of you not to see things his way --- isn't it selfish of him not to see things your way ? But it does sound unrealistic and selfish to object to him spending his alternate weekends with his daughter present --- surely you wouldn't want to be with a many who had less interest in his own child ? You surely don't feel competitive with a girl of 4 ?
He needs to recognize that when you're a couple, if EITHER one has problems, you both have problems, and counselling would be for the couple's benefits, not a matter of who must be blamed for what. From what you say, it would be very unwise to proceed towards the marriage withoug working together in relationship counselling beforehand. Its much cheaper than divorce
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