Posted by: star | 2004/11/01

Overcome Lonliness

Im a 22 year old female in university.
I have been REALLY struggling with feelings of LONLINESS for a very long time now. It is not so much that I dont enjoy my own company -I really do. BUT I face a terrible paradox,I am so afraid of letting people 'in' to get to know me(ESPECIALLY OTHER GIRLS) that I exclude so many possibilities of friendships being made YET at the very smae time I have a very desperate need to feel loved , appreciated , cared for and to just have fun with other females.

I often look at other female 'cliques' who laugh , go out and just have fun together and Im soooo envious and saddened by this. The only people who Ive ever felt 'safe' enough to be friends with have been GUYS(only two) and other guys and girls often find it 'weird' that Im not in a "CLIQUE" and that I dont have a cluster of female friends.

Am I normal ? Is every girl in her twenties who is at varsity supposed to be living the the 'sex in the city'/ "Girlfriends" life of a tight knit circle of female freinds and endless partying and fun?

Please advise me.Im feeling so helpless and desperate.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

star, rapidly explore the university's resources for student counselling, to work on issues of self-esteem, social anxiety /shyness, and loneliness. Of course you're normal. And that "sex in the city lifestyle was too often about old boilers like the actresses in that show, pretending to be in their twenties. There's something hollow and desperate about too much partying and "fun". Girl makes sense, too.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Girl | 2004/11/01

Maybe the reason is that woman tend to be to critical of other woman and sometimes can act bitchy? I also find men easier to be friends with. Maybe its because at the moment you have low self esteem and you feel that you dont have the right clothes or look the 'part'? The more you dwell on this and spend your time worring the more depro you will become and you cant make friends that way. Try and get to go out with some girls one night. Have a couple of drinks then you can relax and chat more and get to know some of them. Your insecurities could be pushing away some potential friends here. Only you can make it happen!!!! Go girl!

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