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Question
Posted by: Nita | 2004/11/04

Over reacting?

My boyfriend and I have been living together for 8 months now.
He does enjoy his drinking and often meets the boys for drinks after work, some nights stays out unil 9 - 10pm, which isn't late, but when he gets home, he'll eat (sometimes not at all) he's there for 10min and off to bed.

He goes down to the pub or visits friends at home at least twice a week and I'm left at home alone. Sometimes he will tell me to join, which is great, but I can only sit arond drinking now and then, it just isn't my cup of tea for a regular every 2nd day thing.

I honestly am not one to keep a guy away from his friends and having is boys nights. He was just away this last weekend on a boys weekend and monday evening was spent in the pub again, where I would have at least wanted to spend the evening with him after not seeing him the weekend.

When speaking to him about it, his reasoning is that he's calmed down a lot since he's met me and I can't say he doesnt make an effort because he does ask me to join him and I don't always feel up to it.

We just don't seem to do things together, weekends are spent at his moms house infront of the DSTV,on the rare occasion we'll go for a drive somewhere.

Am I just being oversensitive or controlling? All I ask is for quality time spent together!






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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

he sounds immature and selfish, to me. There's not good friendship, let alone love, but merely convenience, in the lifestyle you describe. What you're seeking sounds very reasonable. I wonder if he's capable of meeting such modest expectations.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: future image | 2004/11/05

Thats fine and all but what if you decide to get married one day... if you dont let him know what affects you know, he will always be like this !

Drinking isnt cool esp if it turns into a hobby/habit which it sounds like it is already- why shoudl you ahve to wait around for him...you deserve someone who puts you first not his drinking or his friends......

Reply to future image
Posted by: OM | 2004/11/05

Nita, CS is right he will not change his ways if he does you will be very lucky I have seen one of my on lads in this life style it is so selfish they do not care about others except there good times and even at the expense of others.

Reply to OM

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