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Question
Posted by: Wondering | 2008/06/04

Over Jealous or reasonable?

I have an internal dilemma... I am dating someone at work, it's pretty serious as we have moved in together, we have been dating for about 8 months now and I have a massive issue with one of the friendships she has here with a guy at work. They like to have coffees together in the pause areas, he used to always join us for lunch and they chat a lot on instant messaging. The problem is she has other guy friends and that is no problem whatsoever. I just can't seem to stomach this particular friendship. What I want to know is: is the "relationship" that she has with this guy normal or am I right in thinking I don't like it? To try and add to the understanding of their friendship, he is the only one that she goes to coffee with besides me and I tend to get left out of their coffee "dates" together, at least until I started showing that this was upsetting me... am I being reasonable or if not how do I deal with this?

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Posted by: Wondering | 2008/06/04

Thanks Tams, it is reassuring to know that I am not being totally crazy. He does know about the relationship, everyone in the office knows. They both have respected my feelings to a certain degree as they have backed off on the friendship, only problem is last week I was away from the office and they were back to having coffees again. I found out only by coincidence from a colleague. I confronted her about it and she insists that she is not interested in him in any way... I still don't like it for some stupid reason

Reply to Wondering
Posted by: Lee-Ann | 2008/06/04

Hey wondering, why dont you chat to her about it? Perhaps they genuinely have a great friendship. Why dont you suggest he come around for dinner and get to know him. What I am trying to say is dont jump the gun here, the fact that she has move in with you says a lot.
good luck

Reply to Lee-Ann
Posted by: tams | 2008/06/04

It would also bother me. We are human, how can we not get jealous/suspicious. Talk to her about it, if she gets in a huff, then i would maybe consider finding myself another place to stay. He should also respect the relationship, thas if he knows you guys are an item.

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