Posted by: TONI | 2009/03/09

Out of things to do/say

Hi CS,

I' ve got this friend that just broke up with her fiance, it' s been 3 weeks now and she' s just not coping. She attempted suicide already and does not wanna go for concelling. She does not want to talk about this and wants to be left alone all the time. I just dont know what to do now, i mean they' ve broken up a number of times before but it seems like now its serious and i think she knows that hence her actions. She tells me she cannot live without him and prays every day that he comes back to her, i feel that is very disturbing and she needs help. I feel that i have and still am there for her, but what can i do to convince her to get help so she can get over this ASAP.

Please Help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why does she not wanna go for counselling ? Does she not want to be helped ? Does she not want to be helped to feel better ? IS she perhaps ( some people are, in a situation like this ) more intent upon noticeably suffering , so as to try to mak her Ex feel bad, than in moving on and making a happier life for herself ? If they have broken up before and always, so far, got back together, she may be intent on forcing that to happen again.
It is always tragic when someone elevates one love in their life to the point of obsession, and when they insist that they "cannot live without X" --- they can, what they are insisting on is that they refuse to do so. That's different.
If she insists on being stubborn, and focussed totally on trying to force him to return, there's not much room for you to do anything other than indicate your readiness to help her get the help she needs when she is prepared to accept it

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Our users say:
Posted by: mark | 2009/03/09

Organize her a rebound guy ....

Reply to mark

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