Posted by: Broken | 2008/06/08

Out of options

I need help seriously I am in a very abusive relationship and at this point see no way out. I am terified all the time an can not sleep my job is suffering I have no money and feel suicidal 90% of the time. I went to the family court to get a protection order against this man I am living with, oh boy did i get it when he found out. He tore up the copy I had saying that it is a blatant lie and that I don't need it. The police still hasn't serve him his copy as they can never get him at home to serve him. When he sees a police car he hides so that they don't serve him. The police did get him one but on a weekend and the person who does the serving only works during the week, so they warned him and told him he has to vacate the premises. He said I have to take him to his mom. He was gone for all but 3 hours and then game back kicket the door in and told me i am an idiot to think it will be that easy, thet he is not done with me yet.

Wot do I do how the hell do I get rid of the leach in my life he keeps stealing from me takes all my money to a point that I have to hide my money at work ( not that that helps). I have al but a bed left in my place there is abselutly nothing left to take but my life. At this point I feel thats the only way I will ever be rid of him I feel so helpless and I have no idea what to do anymore. The constant stress about money, how i am going to get to work the next day and how am I going to get food is killing me, I even resorted to stealing food from work which is so wrong that I can not sleep, but if i don't i get it at home really bad cause there is no food, i don;t dare say there is no money. I am sooo deep in dept i don;t even think i will ever get out of that either. Sorry I am loading off here but I have no one else to talk to as all my friends deserted me because ogf him and he made sure of that. I don;t even have a phone to call somone and he made sure of that as well. Working nights don't help who can yuou call at 3 am. I just feel very alone in this and see no way out but a bullet.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear of this --- sounds like sadly typical police negilgence. They're surely en titled to enter the home to seek him to servie the notice, and to go to his place of work ( does he work ? ). And a court, if given evidence that someone is evading service of such an order, is surely entitled to declare it served or otherwise enforece it rather than allowing ongoing evasion of a court order. And if he is aare of the content of the order, having read your copy, he may still be bound my its terms. And kicking your door down, and uttering threats, are criminal offenses anyway.
Do call POWA or some similar organization, too, for support and advise on better ways to handle the abuse.
It is NOT true that there is nothing let but to take your own life --- you have the misfortune to have a leech and abuser ---don't finish his work for him by becoming your own abuser ! And at any time, including 3am, surely, you can call Lifeline. Get legal advice through lifeline and POWA, as I'm sure he can be considered as having been served, and can then be arrested if still at your place or in contact with you. Keep safe, from him and from your own sicidal ideas, as once you can get through this, life can be so very much better than this.

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Our users say:
Posted by: been there | 2008/06/09

Please for your own sake YOU MUST CONTACT POWA... they will arrange shelter 4 u. The CHOICE is yours. Leaving my abusive husband was the best for me ... Your protection order wont keep u safe... u must call POWA or LIFE LINE TODAY

Reply to been there
Posted by: Broken | 2008/06/09


Thnaks for the advise. To answer your question no he does not work, and no I can not move out that costs money I do not have. but thanks in anyway to all for the advise.

Reply to Broken
Posted by: Brttty | 2008/06/08

Dear Broken,

You are more battered than broken and given the opportunity I am sure you will recover quickly. At least you hold down a job which shows that you are worth something even if its only your boss who sees it right now. Yes you are in a difficult position but if you can hold down a job then you can get out of lthis mess. Try and contact POWA who will help you, that is their job. Can you not move in with any family for a while so you can sort out this mess? Your friends did not desert you but they just couldn't put up with his nonsense. Contact your friends and ask for help and if they really are friends they will help you - maybe they have been waiting for you to call them as they have probably heard what is going on. How well do you get on with your boss? Maybe well enough to ask for help. Suicide is really a permanent solution to a temporary problem, don't give him the satisfaction of driving you to sucide. When you are down write to CS and you will always get really good advice and help from everyone else. Be strong and take care.

Reply to Brttty
Posted by: T | 2008/06/08

HEY!!!!! that sweetheart is not the answer. yeah its easy for people to give advice. to every1 their problem is insurmountable. u are in a shyt situation, no doubt about it that. i dont like throwing religion around ok. pray pray and pray. i think it bullshyt that the police arent willing to do something about it. if you need to, talk to your employer, maybe he or she can help. often we are 2 scared to approach our bosses, bt they end up being the ones to be in a position to help. cant you move away? oh by the way, an interdict doesnt have to go into his hand to be valid. they chuck it into ost boxes now, and even if your dog really eats post(like mine does) he has been served. F him! good luck

Reply to T

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