Posted by: nn | 2004/11/08

Out for a kill

I dunno what is wrong with me lately. I have been so moody and unpleasant. I used to go out all the time with my best friedn and now I only see her once in a while. But when I see her with other people I get cross. I feel sad that she is now having fun with other people. And I am just being so ugly to my boyfriend. Always lookng for a fight with him. Always getting cross with him. I keep getting cross with his past. Getting cross with all the girls he has been with. I understand that he did have a past before I came along but I do not really like the past he has had and I seem to be using it against him all the time. He has changed and is now a better person. I keep thinking that he is gonna cheat on me. Always finding a way to see if he is cheating on me. I am a carefree person and I am not insecure. But I cannot help these feelings towards my friends and boyfriend. I need to stop before I hurt them both. What can I do? Usually these things will not bother me but lately it is eating me away.

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Our expert says:
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You seem, nn, to recognize part of the problems you are creating for yourself. ou seem to have deep-seated jealousy. You seem to resent your good friend having any fun if she has it without you. and you are insisting on bothering about historicial aspects of what your bf did before he met you. If you keep hunting for signs of cheating, you may start to create them. I don't understand how you can describe yourself as carefree and no insecure --- you sound care-laden and very insecure, by your own descriptions. You CAN help your feelings towards friends and bf --- see a counsellor and discover how easily you can change those feelings to happier, more generous and more fruitful ones, if you'll allow that to happen.

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