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Question
Posted by: Maryleen | 2004/12/01

Our Sex

My boyfriend of 4 months is 38yrs and is separated with his wife after 1 year of marriage. He is very caring and loving. We have tried to make love but have failed because he does not reach orgasm though he can achieve an erection adequate for penetration. He says he does not have to reach orgasm to enjoy sex. There was a time in his life when he was not ready for intimacy with any woman hence he resorted to masturbation and thats when his problem which has gone on for about two year began.
I need to know:-
1. Why is he unable to reach orgasm?
2. Is it something that I am doing that's causing this or he's just that not into me?
3. Is it really possible for a man to enjoy sex without reaching orgasm?
4. How can I help him through this problem?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Difficulties involving ejaculation are common and take many different forms. When ejaculation is problematic, not happening, or only occurring after much effort and time has taken place, it is called delayed ejaculation. Lack of or difficult ejaculation/orgasm may be a medical or psychological issue. Medical causes may include diabetes, nerve damage, vascular disease, hormonal factors, alcohol and/or other drug use, and side effects of certain medications (e.g., antidepressants) or surgical procedures (e.g., prostate or bladder surgery). Psychological causes may include mood disorders, stress, anxiety, guilt, anger, relationship difficulties, and past traumatic events.

A health care provider or urologist can evaluate you for medical causes and suggest appropriate treatment, if necessary. If there is no medical cause, then seeing a sex therapist is your next step. To find a sex therapist, call SASHA 0860 100 262.

To address your last concern, difficulty with ejaculation will not prevent you from fathering children as long as your sperm are healthy and viable. If ejaculation is problematic or impossible during sexual intercourse, as a last resort, sperm can be retrieved and inserted medically for conception to occur.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: JustMe | 2004/12/01

Maryleen, funny enough I was in the same situation at one stage. Just be patient, loving, caring and the problem will solve it self. Start by talking sex quite often make him very horny though but don't just into bed with him just yet. Keep this going and then go over to oral sex and sex. Just be patient it is the keyword. It could be that his ex has taken away some of his manhood.

Reply to JustMe
Posted by: FF | 2004/12/01

Hi Maryleen

Maybe I missed it in your post, but .... Does he reach an orgasm when he mastubates ?

Reply to FF

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