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Question
Posted by: Piet | 2004/01/14

Oral sex

My wife and I have a happy and thoroughly satisfying mariage (10 yrs + 2 Children) and relationship, but a small problem has raised its head. When we make love my wife will not allow me to perform oral sex, but has no problem performing it with me. I questioned her about this, and she does not have any strong feelings about it, but still does not want to allow me. I love my wife and want to please her as well as I can, I do not have a perversion or anything, but believe that she will enjoy it as much as I will.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Maybe you wife feels uncomfortable about her own genitals. Many women believe (wrongly so) that they smell, or that they are genitally deformed from to much childhood masturbation, or their genitals are ugly, etc, etc. There are great books available on the subject. I assume you are Afrikaans (with a name like Piet) - try and get a copy of "Die vreugde van seks" or write to me at "Women Only" disa@icon.co.za and we can mail order a copy for you.

Regards
Dr Elna McIntosh

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Piet | 2004/01/14

Thank you technician, I appreciate your insights.

Reply to Piet
Posted by: gay boy | 2004/01/14

any gays for oral?

Reply to gay boy
Posted by: kuki | 2004/01/14

well darlings please continue this topic, i'm lovin it

Reply to kuki
Posted by: technician | 2004/01/14

Hi Piet,

Woman are strange, but just as men they do have there prefrances!!! I think that if u talk to her and tell her what u whant to do and be explict sort of dirty talk and just get her in the mood by tuching it may help!! if she is lik my g/f she is most probably warried about the smell even though there are probly non or about cleanliness and kissing afterwards it my be just a fetish. Good luck because once she lets u go and lets u do it that way there will be no turning back and u will have to watch out!!!! Use the figure 8 form if u get there it gives the best results!!!!!

Reply to technician
Posted by: Just a guy | 2004/01/14

Dampies - Before you feed us with your pearls of wisdom why dont your read the question. He is not forcing her.

Reply to Just a guy
Posted by: Dampies | 2004/01/14

Piet, the lady doesnt like you doing it. It is her wish that you not do it.

Why not respect her wishes, like you should (after 10 years) and quit forcing her to do stuff she's not comfortable with?

Reply to Dampies
Posted by: Just a guy | 2004/01/14

Reassurance. Find out from her what it is that she is insecure about (that might take some time) and then reassure her.
GOOD LUCK.

Reply to Just a guy
Posted by: Me2 | 2004/01/14

I would love to be married to you....... I have the reverse of your problem, my husband just won't do it. We have been married for 8 years, have 3 kids - the sex is still really good, but he will just not do oral... he used to...... I just do not know what changed.

Reply to Me2
Posted by: Piet | 2004/01/14

Yes, she does not mind that I stimulate her with my fingers, but when I go down, she stops me and prefer that I penetrate her. I guess what you said about her being self-conscious rings true, but how do you overcome that without feeling that one is forcing her to do something that she does not realy want to? I guess women will remain a mystery to me.

Reply to Piet
Posted by: Piet | 2004/01/14

Yes, she does not mind that I stimulate her with my fingers, but when I go down, she stops me and prefer that I penetrate her. I guess what you said about her being selfconscious rings true, but how do you overcome that without feeling that one is forcing her to do something that she does not realy want to? I guess women will remain a mystery to me.

Reply to Piet
Posted by: Just a guy | 2004/01/14

No problem, sorry I couldn't help much.
Have you tried different techniques?

Reply to Just a guy
Posted by: Piet | 2004/01/14

Thanks "Just a guy", we incidently did have a long bath with candlelight before and I massaged her shoulders, etc. I am pretty in chune with her feminine cycle, so I don't think that is it, but thanks for the advice.

Reply to Piet
Posted by: Just a guy | 2004/01/14

Hi Piet, You will probably find that she is a little self-conscious about her nether regions. Most women fear that we will not enjoy it because of its scent or look. Why dont you try having a bath with her before hand, it will warm both of you up. Tell her how much you enjoy doing this to her and that you want to do it. It's no good telling us that, speak to her.
PS - Avoid that area around that time of the month, she will more than likely be even more self-conscious.

Reply to Just a guy

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