Our expert says:
Well, freaky, oral sex isn't absolutely essential within a loving relatonship. Have you talked about this to your boyfriend, explaining what has happeed to you in the past, and why you find this less pleasant than it might otherwise be ? If he loves you he is likely to understand. If there are other problems remaining from your date rape experience, wouldn't it be worth seeing a counsellor to work on setting yourself free from these issues ? And with a loving and kindly boyfriend, maybe you can gently learn to enjoy sex as it is meant to be, within a loving relationship and as an expession of love ; and not either as a forced and brutal experience, or even as something you feel you have to do "for him" without regard to how it feels for you.
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