Posted by: Anon | 2008/09/09

Opinion needed

My boyfriend and i want to have a 3some with another woman. I am just worried that my boyfriend will have strong feelings for her after. Has anyone done this before?

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Our expert says:
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Some couples do include other sexual partners, but both partners need to be clear about whether they are happy to go through with it, and also define clear 'rules' of engagement - i.e. what is and isn't okay for him and her to do? It's not for everyone and feelings like this are probably one of the powerful reasons why many don't do threesomes... Good idea to gather data, but give yourself time to think/talk it through carefully before you go ahead, because once it's done, you can't turn the clock back if you are jealous or have a problem with it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Man Trois | 2008/09/09

If only you knew the can of worms you' ve just opened. Your inquiry is a difficult one to answer becuase there are a ton of variables involved. There is so much info that is needed to give you an answer.
Basically, it' s my opinion that if he simply likes her as a friend (I' m assuming you have a friend picked out already) his feelings towards here will NOT escalate. Just because you have sex with someone it doesn' t mean that you' ll fall in love them. I' ve had 3 (friends) that I' ve had sex with (not at the same time)and in no way did I fall in love with them. Granted, I felt really close to them afterwards ' cause after all I did sleep with them. You can' t help but feel a little closer to them. In love or not in love I still shared someting special with them and it made us closer friends.
On the otherhand, if he already has feelings for her that he hasn' t told you about then yes, he' ll proably have stronger feelings for her afterwards. Talk to him and find out how he feels about her. Find out how he feels about you. Are you the only one for him? Or are you just a girlfriend that he' s hoping to have a 3sum with before he moves on?

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