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Question
Posted by: Mel | 2008/05/26

on my own!

After 3 and a half years together, I left the father of my son 2 weeks ago, after i realized a while back he was an alcoholic, irresponsible and enjoyed the social scene with his friends and co-workers way more than he enjoyed spending time with me or his son. He had a life outside of mine, whereas mine was child, work, home, our family, which absorbed all my time, he was drinking it up all weekend at places I dont know about, with people Ive never met, coming home the next morning. Approaching him on the subject of the drinking, I was met with total denial. I believe 100% the saying that the 1st step to recovery is admitting u have a problem. he never helped with our son, or did his share should i say. our son is already almost 2 and he has never bought him a toy or an item of clothing. He has never woken up for him at night, gotten up in the morning, or taken time off work when he is sick. he doesnt know what he eats and what he doesnt eat, he doesnt know what to pack in his bag for school or what time he goes to bed.
I was a constant ball of anxiety, stressed out with being the grown up all the time, not only looking after our child alone but picking up the pieces of his childish behavior. He had so many chances, I really had enough and now 2 weeks later im much happier, I even see a difference in our son.

I am suddenly feeling very down today, since I left, i was fine, cheery even, but today i am feeling so low and tearful I cant function at work. I suddenly feel like a failure , for not being good enough for him to love me enough. He is not the first man to treat me in a similar way of 'other things being more important than me'
My son is all I need right now, he is the best thing that ever happened to me and keeps me grounded and focused on a brighter future. I know it was for the best, and things will be ok.
Im just feeling down in the dumps today..
thanks for listening.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It takes a while to adjust to a loss, even the loss of someone who, according to your decription, was immature, selfish, and unhelpful. Your son won't lose anything by the loss of this guy, and is lucky to have such a marvellous mom !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Mel | 2008/05/26

Listen here, you sound like a fantastic Mother and person. Dont despair, you will meet someone who will love and adore you the way you deserve. Feeling down is just because you are maybe not used to being alone, it will pass, trust me, I HAVE BEEN THERE. good luck lovey lady!

Reply to Mel
Posted by: Sue | 2008/05/26

Oh girl. It is fine to feel down some days. You are only human. You are so very brave and have made the best decision for yourself and your son. It is your right to mourn. Tomorrow morning you will feel better. Just look into your son's eyes .... you have made the right choice.
*Hugs*

Reply to Sue

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