Posted by: NEED ADVICE | 2008/11/06

older women-ladies help would be great

Hi there

I am 23, single, and in need of advice...

I think this has gone over the fantasy level and into a life style level! I lost my virginaty to a women double my age, and even before that i have always been more attracted and interested in older women! the happiest i have ever been is when i am with older women! but i cant introduce an older women to my family and friends, i dont mind being seen in public, dont get me wrong, but my family wont approve of her and she wont enjoy my friends company (possibly too young for her). i believe that i am mature for my age and open minded.

it bugs me in my head that i cant find a balance between family, friends and my attraction to older women!

is it normal to be more attracted to older women? how does society percieve it? and are older women open to dating younger guys?

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Our expert says:
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You're an adult. DOn't your family respect you enough to accept your own choices in life and in love ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: ERm | 2008/11/06

I was divorced with 2 small children when I met the most wonderful man, he was 21 at the time. We had the most fabulous time together and fell in love. That was 8 years ago we are married now and he loves my children and we are still madly inlove.We had rough patches, alot of growing to do, even broke up for a while, but realised we could not live without each other (soppy, but true)I think it depends on the person, maturity and so on. I wont lie and say age doesnt matter, it will present some challenges but all relationships have challenges. If you are meant to be with someone you will overcome.

Reply to ERm
Posted by: Kb | 2008/11/06

I see your point. I am 32 and my partner is 27. His parents were not at all happy about us in the beginning, as i was also divorced with a child, but eventually they got to know me, and the rest is history.
My partner and i get along very well, and the age thing does not hold us back.
Goodluck to you, i hope you eventually find happiness.

Reply to Kb
Posted by: Nozi | 2008/11/06

You sound very mature so I don' t think you ned to hear what others have to say, you' ve made up your mind and know what you want I would say go for it,your father may come round in the end, hey it' s your life.I am an older woman and my partner 12yrs my senior and at times his very childish wanting to joke at little things and I must say it pees me off but we do get along.
Growing up with his gran dad and dad his into old music that I have never heard before so I would say follow your heart.
Good luck and with your Italian blood I doubt she would ever have a problem in the bedroom.

Reply to Nozi
Posted by: NEED ADVICE | 2008/11/06

kb - well i consider someone approximalty 5 years older than me as an Older before you say anything, i know 28 is not old but it is ' not in the ordinary'  for a women to have a big age gap between the guy...i hope that makes sense

Posted by: NEED ADVICE | 2008/11/06

Thanks for the first 2 ladies advice and CS!

CS - my mother is conservative and is quiet hectic like that, she will be happy that im happy at the end of the day!
my father on the other hand wont accept it, we are italian (my fathers side) and he is set in his ways. he can be open minded but i think taking a women 10 years older than myself home might be pushing his bourdry.

Karen - i have often thought about that, that when i am 40 she will be 60...but then again, if i have been with her long enough, i have seen and grown old with her! dont know if it will be an issue. i could be wrong but if you with someone for that long, surely personality and attraction still plays a part and not age and looks!

Older women - i can see your side aswell, but i know alot of things that happened in the 80' s, musically, politcally and in entertainment. i actually like it, even the older stuff, like my favouite movie series to this day is the Peter Sellars Pink Panther series, lot of guys my age havent even seen one...they still think the remake with Steve Martin is good, i thought it was horrible! i am a huge music fan, so i enjoy listening to the old and new stuff! i think that why i can relate to older women, cause i can have a conversation with them, and i am attracted to them as it is!

Posted by: Kb | 2008/11/06

You are 23 years old, so at what age do you classify " older women"  ?

Why live your life wondering what other people are going to think of your choices?

Reply to Kb
Posted by: Older Woman | 2008/11/06


I was an " older woman"  once. He was 20 and I was 31 we had the best time of our lives. And the wildest sex - it was great for me when he could actually get an erection because so many men of 35 and older have a major problem. He was available on demand. But after that was done the novelty wore off.

You see little things are what makes or brakes a relationship. I could not share things that happened in the 80" s with him be it movies or music or whatever.

He still wanted to go out to clubs and I was way past that. I liked -|- tails with friends and quiet dinners - he found it boring. He could not join in the conversation because he had no experience.

At the end of it all I wanted a man who was my equal and who could support himself and carry himself.

Saying things like " you are as old as the man you feel"  or " age is only in the mind"  sounds cute but unfortunately its a reality that age does make a difference.

Sorry, I know that is not what you wanted to hear.

Reply to Older Woman
Posted by: karen | 2008/11/06

It wont work love, the gap is just too big. EG. when you are 40 years old, then she is.......60!!!! no ways, cant work.

Reply to karen

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