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Question
Posted by: Treated like a child | 2004/01/28

Older Family problems

I am married to the younger brother of a nine children family. The oldest sister is my mothers age. My problem is that because they are older than me, they think they can bully me into doing things all the time...They come into our home, take over in the kitchen, sit with the feet on my furniture..going into my bedroom...mess up the house..and let the children run around and make a mess....I dont do it to them.. I respect there space especially there bedrooms..i wont even go into the fridge without asking..
I have spoken to my husband several times about it and he says that people are comfortable in our house ..What can I do... obviously he is not going to help..what can i do without fighting with them about it...and talking to them is not going to help as they will make a mountain of it...
I just want them to respect my house, I aslo work for my things and want to keep it looking nice

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear tlac,
gentle makes some good points. Lock the bedroom door, yes. And keep talking about it with your husband, without nagging --- explain that by growing up in a houseful of kids maybe he didn't get to value privacy, but that it makes you feel very uncomfortable --- and that surely your comfort must be even more important than that of his guests ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gentle | 2004/01/28

I'm afraid there's very little you can do if your hubby is not on your side. Lock your bedroom and for the kitchen I don't really know. But the bedroom is supposed to be private for you and your hubby. If you start talking to them alone it might create bigger problems, and family dispute.

Is there anyone older in this family who looks at things on your perspective point of view? if there is tell him/her to speak with this family to give your home some space and respect.

Good Luck with your life.

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