Posted by: confused | 2005/11/29

old flame back from overseas,what to do?

Short version,

About four year ago the great love of my life decided to go overseas and left me behind in the mean time we spoke a lot telephonically, sms and wrote letters.
Problem is he is back now and I have had a baby and are engaged but it feels literally as if all my “old” emotions that I have suppressed over the years have risen and I feel totally confused.
We started to sms one another but there are so many issues that needs to be sorted out and old quarrels will it be wise to meet him face to face and sort it out? What to do, please advise me?

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Our expert says:
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You have totalyl moved on, with regard to committments made to other innocent people, but you haven';t finished moving on with regard to old emoptional attachments. Why bother to try to sort out the problems with the old love, instead of politely cutting him off ( ahm, the curse of the SMS strikes again !) and concentrating on your fiancee and baby ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: SR | 2005/11/29

Confused = No matter what advice you receive on this forum you are still going to go out and do what you are going to do, be it sms, call, meet for coffee, argue, bitch, moan, cry, make secret pacts, continue contact and eventually before you know it this guy is going to start chipping away at your armour .....

Reply to SR
Posted by: confused | 2005/11/29

thanks wings, you are REG!
Its too late now and I am really very happy and inlove..

Reply to confused
Posted by: confused | 2005/11/29

We parted due to circumstances he wanted rather he paid for my ticket to go to England and I never had the guts to go overseas its my fault he even bought me a wedding ring...

Reply to confused
Posted by: ~Wings~ | 2005/11/29

Girl this situation is going to cause havoc.
You have a baby and are engaged to a man I assume you love? If you took this old flame out of your life would you still be in love with your fiancee?

What I'm trying to say is that old flames cause large fires, and if you have unresolved issues maybe you should leave it at that for the sake of the family you have made in his absence.
Lees right, dont open a can of worms now, if you really want closure I think its best you move on and realise that what you had is in the past and what you have now with your fiancee is far more valuable.

Best wishes

Reply to ~Wings~
Posted by: SR | 2005/11/29

confused = So he dumped you way back then or you guys parted because of circumstances?

Reply to SR
Posted by: lee | 2005/11/29

I don't think it would be wise to meet him - not alone anyway. If you're engaged you need to deal with the emotions you feel for the other guy before it ruins the relationship you have with your fiance. Remember why y ou moved on... he left you here afterall.

Reply to lee
Posted by: Crimsonkc | 2005/11/29

Depends who outside of the two of you will be hurt. If there is no one in your life there should be no reason why you should not meet and talk.

Reply to Crimsonkc

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