Posted by: Megan | 2005/12/13

Office gossip - please help

Hi\<br>I really love my job, but I'm extremely unhappy for one reason only and that is office gossip. There are a couple of people who skinner constantly. They fortunately don't involve me but one can see it a mile away (one picks up the body language, tone of voice and typing quite quickly) and it really upsets me. It is as if, no matter how well things are going, they ALWAYS find some reason to keep people unhappy. I hate it and I've really started to disrespect those people (I used to like them a lot). I avoid all invitations from them because I don't want to be drawn in to this. The skinner is so predicable - I cannot believe that people don't see right through it immediately. Why do people do that? Or am I odd for not wanting to join in the "fun"? I'm sorry, but I find it incredibly destructive, pathetic and quite sad and don't want to bow down to that level. My job is important to me but I can't work like this anymore. It is as if they always want to make someone look bad. (or do they want to divert attention from themselves and their own insecurities?) It is SO SICK!!! It is poisonous! Not everyone is like that but the others don't say anything either and I don't want to talk to them because then I'll only perpetuate the skinnering. Should I resign to get away from them? I really don't want to leave a job I love just because of these people. How can I deal with it? It really cannot be healthy! PLEASE give me advice - I'm really lost here.

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Our expert says:
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There's absolutely nothing whatever wrong with you for not wanting to join in their gossipy games. The others probably dislike it as much as you do, and don't say anything for the same reasons you don't. Why should you resign to avoid these 2 skinnerbeks in what sound like otherwise nice people. Can't you discuss this with a supervisor or with HR ? Deubel and Lisa are right

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sonia | 2005/12/14

No need to run away. wherever you go there will be office gossips. Are you gonna keep running until when?? I think you must ignore them - that's what I do. There's also someone at my workplace who is so obsesses about me its unbelievable. She keeps on gossiping about me and spreading non-existent lies about me. Everyone tells me what she's is saying but i have never confronted her. i just ignore her and it makes her even worse. I think she needs some psychiatric help. The way she carries on we actually like it here - she provides entertainment for us because her nasty gossips makes us laugh all day. She will go from one office to the next with the same story but different version - I cant believe a person can behave this way.

Reply to Sonia
Posted by: Megan | 2005/12/14

Thanks. Yes, one thing's for sure, I don't trust them or their opinions anymore.

Reply to Megan
Posted by: Liza | 2005/12/14

Its called office politics. I've never worked in an office where there wasn't any. So rather than jumping from the frying pan into the fire (like I did recently - the politics here are extremely poisonous. Even my boss is part of the 'skinner' group) I've decided to just ignore it and never take part. If someone tells me something I take it with a pinch of salt and definitely not pass it on.

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Deubel | 2005/12/14

Gemima, there are always two groups - those part of the click and those not. You are obviously the latter.

Don't let them intimidate you and don't give them any reason to gossip about you. Just ignore them and do your job as well as you can. You should not allow them to have any influence on your life through their gossiping.

Reply to Deubel

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