Posted by: Nanzo | 2013/01/30

Office fling.

Good day

A co worker of mine just told me that he''s got hearts for me, we work in the same office, as in every time when i go the kitchen/ladies room, i pass his desk. He says he has had these these feelings for a long time, i told him that i don''t wanna date in the office, as i beleive that should be awkward,it already is awkward now that he''s told me how he feels, i never gave him my phone numbers and he does''nt want to tell me how he got them, he''s new in the office. How do i make this situation dissapear? I really do not want him to feel like i''m looking down on him,but really i don''t see myself dating in the office,maybe if there was hope of a serious relationship,i would concider it but the way he goes on and on about me beu=ing hot and all that,it just tells me that he''s not looking for a relationship but just an office fling and i do not want to be that.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You're absolutely right to want to avoid office romances, which rarely end hapilly. For him to be climbing in like this when new in the office, and getting your phone numbers without your permission, is bad behaviour, and can amount to sexual harassment.
Just tell him very clearly you don't want any sort of office romance with anyone ; that he got your phone numbers improperly, and that you could lay a complain of harrassment if he doesn't stop this completely and immediately.
Sadly, Wendy\s example is irrelevant - there are individual cases of people who fell over a cliff and lived hapilly ever after, but that doesn't mean its a good idea for people to jump over cliffs.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Noddy | 2013/02/05

My husband has had an affair with a woman from his office - for 3 years - without me suspecting a thing- office romances should not be tolerated

Reply to Noddy
Posted by: Purple | 2013/01/30

If you have let him down gently and he continues to pursue you, you may have to firmly inform him that you are not interested and would like him to leave you alone. If he still won''t leave you alone, then inform him that you are there to work and that hte next time he speaks to you about this, that you will have to report him for harassing you.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Wendy | 2013/01/30

I went out with a guy from the office. We weren''t serious in the beginning. We just liked each others company. We did break up at some point as we didn''t think we were right for each other. And being adults, we were able to maintain a good relationship at work. But a few months later, we were back together.

Needless to say we got married. It''s been 11 years and we have had 4 kids together.

Reply to Wendy
Posted by: XXX | 2013/01/30

Tell him again where you stand and then ignore his " passes" .
If he becomes a bit much, tell him you will be forced to talk to your manager as you are uncomfortable with this.

Reply to XXX

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