Our expert says:
Yes indeed, one product you can always sell is an excuse for bad behaviour. No, I'm not a thug who enjoys hurting people, I have a violence problem ( no, thug, WE have a problem with YOUR violence ) --- well, then, I have an Unprovoked Violence Disorder.
I believe that NOT providing a child with a sensible system of discipline, and encouraging self-discipline and awareness of the rights and needs of others is in itself a form of child abuse. If there is a true mental / neurological disorder in there, it would be one that makes it somehow impossible for a child to learn the simple rules of disciplne, and thus impossible to diagnose until several skillful attempts had ben made to devise a disciplinary system and structure within which the child could develop that.
I agree that hitting kids has nothing to do with discipline, but is more an expression of the indiscipline of the frustrated parent. And we need to recognize that often when the obvious symptoms lie in the misbehaviour of the child, the cause may lie in the problems and misbehaviour of the parents.
But there is such a thing as anti-social Personality Disorder, or whatever you wish to mcall it ( in the old days, one would call it Evil ) --- there are some people who behave like a separate species unable or at least extremely unwilling to see any of the rest of us as having the same rights and needs, and viewing us rather as prey. People who can be enormously sensitive to their own sense of hurt and pride, but not acknowledging that anyone else either matters or feels hurt and pain. And these people start to show aberrant behaviour while young.
These are the kids who, perhaps even superficially well-behaved so far as their parents are aware, take pleasure in killing and torturing animals, have nasty private pleasures like setting fires, and so on.
"who made the boo boo" may even be one of them
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