Our expert says:
It's amazing what awful things get done by basically nice people who think they are doing you a favour, isn't it ?
yes, tell the hospital in absolutely clear terms that you have an over-controlling and over-possessive mother-in-law, and that you insist that nobody except your fiancee be allowed into the delivery roo, into the ward, or to see or handle the baby, without your specific consent.
I don't know how often and how deeply you have discussed with with yout fiancee, but he nees to understand that what his mother is doing goes far, far, beyond normal loving care, and is distinctly creepy, and disturbing, and distinctly unwholesome. Tell him that this is YOUR baby, and his, but she keeps talking about it as HERS. Tell him that she makes you feel likenothing more than an incubator, and that he absolutely owes it to you to stand up to her and make sure that she backs off and cools of, and approaches normality again.
And speak to her, saying that while you appreciate her interest and concern, she is beign truly overwhelming, and leaving you very little room in which to be the mother ; that while you very much appreictae the idea that she will be available to be helpful when you need specific help, would she please give you and the baby some space, so that he and his real mother ( you ) can build the central relationship that will always be as important in this baby's life as hers is with her son.
However much money they have, I see no way in which they co0uld be allowed to take custody of the child, so don't fear that. They could do so if they could prove that you were dangerous to the child ( which would be nonsense ) ; even if you were desitute and penniless, the solution they ought to propose is that they would provide you with enough money to care for the child, not that they should take the child --- children are not supposed to be for sale in SA.
FTM has an interesting point about giving the child your surname. I didn't notice you sa anything about YOUR parents --- could they play some useful and balancing role
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