Posted by: Savannah | 2007/03/05

Obesity and our problems

Hi guys and gals. Some friends invited hubby and I to the Randfontein show over the weekend. People from all over the Westrand attended and on my way home I felt so sad. I know it is because of my recent op and the fact that we are so tuned into weight loss and the whole weight issue. At the show I noticed that roughly 2 out of 3 women were over weight. Whenever I hear stats about obesity in SA, I tend to think that they might be exaggerating a bit, BUT I could not help but notice this over the weekend. I could see myself in so many of the ladies, pulling at their clothes to cover the wobbly bits, trying to eat as inconspicuous as possible, and not wanting to sit in the shade for fear of not fitting into a plastic chair, and constantly looking to see if anyone is making fun of them!

I wanted to tell everyone about this wonderful forum, I wanted to tell them that there are other people with weight issues that really care and people (like myself) who still weigh 120kg that understand what they go through. I wanted to tell them that the gastric bypass operation is a option (although expensive) and that there are many success stories out there on various diets. My heart goes out to these women, I know what they are going through.

I have a wonderful husband who with sensitivity and without ever saying a word about it has taken it upon himself to always pick a restaurant with chairs without armrests (and sturdy chairs). He also holds my hand in public and is proud to be seen with me. This is truly one reason that I have not lost my mind or done something stupid. Although I take good care of myself and are always well groomed, I still find that some people look twice because such an attractive man can be proud of his fat wife. We have been married for 18 years, he is very attractive and we are more in love than ever before!

A week after my operation, I went to Dischem and accidentally bumped into a woman (definitely not a lady). I was protecting my tummy and scared that someone might bump into it. Being the fat person, I immediately smiled and said I was sorry. She was thin and definitely not well groomed, with a skimpy little outfit. (Mutton dressed as lamb) She turned around and made a remark that sent me flying off the handle. She looked at me from tip to toe and said that she could see that I had just crawled out of the gutter and made another remark about my weight. All this because I was fat. Well my kind and gentle husband lost his temper and stormed at her asking her what she meant. She did not think that we were together. He then told her that she looked as if she needed some shampoo and more clothing to hide her cellulite that was peeling out at the back. I was astounded!

Maybe hurtful people like this should be reincarnated as severely obese women to understand the hurt and the poor self esteem we face on a daily basis.

Just thought I would share this with you.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDietDoc

Dear Savannah
Oh my dear, what a dreadful experience with that woman in the chemist. I could weep for you. Yes, the incidence of obesity and overweight is alarming here and in all western countries. Don't give up and always remember that it's what's inside people that is really important - I reckon your hubby who sounds like a super gentleman, has realised it long ago.
Lots of good wishes

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Our users say:
Posted by: Robyn | 2007/03/05

Hi Savanah,

I have a sister in law who is also overweight. She doesn't want to be that way either. She doesn't eat much. Did you decide on your own to have a gastric bypass? Is this to lose weight. Call me stupid, i don't know about these things. I often think that being an overweight woman is due to hormones. This should be checked even though doctors say you don't need it. But I could be wrong. I just wanted to say, I do understand what it feels like when people insult you because of physical imperfections. My whole life people have insulted my breasts. I will have breast augmentation after the birth after my second child is born. Not for others though, phsycologically it has affected me. I will feel better.

Reply to Robyn
Posted by: Savanah | 2007/03/05

Dear Savanah,

You are so lucky to have a husband that loves and supports you and attacks people who hurt you! My husband has told me that my weight puts him off and has made it clear he prefers a thinner woman - he has a great female "friend" who as well as being thinner than me is also young and prettier and I sometimes wonder about the two of them and yet when I offered him his freedom he declined!!! So treasure that husband of yours, you are so fortunate.

Personally as a fat person I always feel apologetic for (in my mind) for taking up too much space on this earth. Now that I've moved to the middle east where most woman are cloaked I feel more of a blimp and more noticeable than ever. However I have found that my weight has never put people being friendly with me or maybe my size makes them feel I am harmless. So I've decided to get rid of the scales and just try and eat better. My husband has decided he wants to go on diet and I've decided that as its a healthy diet I am not going to cook two means and will just east the same as him. Hey maybe I will lose so much weight I can find a nicer husband! Hope that your op takes care of your weight problem, you are brave to do it. Take care.

Reply to Savanah

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