Our expert says:
If it was really easy, everyone could be a counsellor / therapist, and in deed, we could all just do it for ourselves, looking in the mirror. But it's possible and potentially valuable. Though it may feel that way, you haven't lost it --- you have mislaid it, and can find it again. Sounds like you may have had a depression or dysthymia from an early age, which became distinctly worse with a Post-Natal Depression, which indeed makes things go pear-shaped, and still needs and deserves proper assessment and treatment by the best shrink accessable to you. You deserve that
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