Posted by: blablabla | 2007/04/13

not sure

i met this guy and he gave me this impression that he loves me and i loved him too. we visited each other and we kissed. the problem is, he told me that he does not want to be involved in a relationship now, becasue he is too busy with the school work. he hardly calls me and i was always tempted to call him. i developed love to him and since he told me about his commitments, i do not know whether to tell him to give it a try or i should focus on finding someone else or wait for him until the right time, becasue he does tell me that he love me, but he does not want us to be in a relation, becasue he will not fully attend me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Firstly a word of caution about using the word love. When this word is used too quickly or too casually people usually end up getting hurt. Sadly you have recently experienced this. Romantic feelings are often very intense and as a result people will rush ahead. They will also want someone to say they love them because it is a great thing to hear from someone, it affirms us and makes us feel good about ourselves.

However, if someone says they love you because they feel the other person expects this rather than it being a true emotion people get hurt, and feel let down, because the notion of love is something enduring.

If he needs to concentrate on his studies then that is something important he needs to attend to. Many young people choose to keep more serious relationships until later in their lives and this is a personal choice.

To prevent yourself getting hurt again, I would advise you to be careful about the word love and allow a relationship to develop for a while before considering using or expecting to hear this word. Enjoy a relationship for what it is and try not to rush ahead into its future - be in the here and now.

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