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Question
Posted by: Confussed | 2007/08/13

Not in the Next 3 Months :-(

Hi all, CS

I need some advise. I searched the forum but couldn't find anything that fits my problem.

I got divorced a year ago, easy kind of divorce. I am confident with my situation although I am seeing a shrink with regards to some other issues relating to relationships. This has been the case since January. Currently the arrangement is that I go and see her only when really needed. Now on my last visit about month and a half ago she suggested getting some numbers of girls/ladies (I'm 26 year old male) which I might be interested in and send them to me. She wanted me to get to know someone special again.

The reason for this was that my personal life is basically nonexistent because my work requires me to spend 5 of the 7 days a week on site in a different province. There I work with people from the old school. Being a young guy and in the IT industry I work with new technology such as MSN messenger the internet etc. They on the other hand think that using technology negatively impacts your rate of production. But working from 7 till when ever is conducive to large amount of work being done.

But enough of that, my requirement for advise starts here. There weeks ago I got a number from my Shrink. So I phoned the girl. She sounded awesome over the phone. We arranged for a coffee date the weekend. It was a great success. So we met again and again. We do chat quite a bit via email, sms etc.

And here comes the part that is causing all the ????'s. She stated a couple of weeks ago that she might not be ready for something serious, which is understandable because of her reasons at that time. Then she starts reacting "inviting" in her sms replies. Not sexually, but maybe I am in with a shot here of something like a relationship developing.

But today she burst my bubble with the 3 months nothing will happen reply. Eish, why would this be and what must I do know.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I have never heard of anything so peculiar as a shrink giving a patient the names and numbers of a bunch of girls.
As for the specific girl you mention, it doesn't sound as though you know much about her yet. Mayhbe she has a recent break-up or some other issue in her life making her sensibly cautious about not plunging into a deper relationship just yet, not even with a nice guy like you. Come to think of it, if thwe list was of girls known to the shrink, maybe that meant that they all had some problems or issues they were still working on ?
Like Maria, I'm not clear on what you mean about "nothing will happen " --- do you mean she doesn't want to get into sex just yet ? That sounds seisible, and not something you should object to.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: hope | 2007/08/14

I agree with Maria. Perhaps due to some issues in the past, she has promised her self to take things slow, as rushing into things in the past may have had negative outcomes. Just start slow, giving her the time and space she needs, and if it develops further, GREAT. and if not, then you will not have investing so many emotions into it. I have learned that sometimes a friendship first is key to a trusting relationship. Learn to respect each other and trust each other, and what's meant to be, will be. Good Luck

Reply to hope
Posted by: Confussed | 2007/08/13

Maria, sex isn't even a factor to me. That is something that will happen when the time for it is right. I will not force that on her or anyone else for that matter. But yes, your reply does make sence. Thank you

Reply to Confussed
Posted by: Maria | 2007/08/13

Do you mean that for 3 months she won't have sex with you? If you are envisaging a longterm relationship with this girl then surely you can give her the 3 months? Perhaps this is what she needs to trust you because of some bad experience she had.

ps. Shrink playing Cupido... strange

Reply to Maria

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